The reading passage claims that the existence of the Hanging Gardens of Babylon is not a myth, but there are clear evidences to explain believe they did exist. However, the speaker contradicts the reading with opposing views.
To begin with, while the reading passage argues that the most reliable evidence is found from ancient Greek records, the speaker actually points out that Greek historians who wrote about the records didn’t really visited to the place. Also, the lecture he states that it arouses his curiosity that there is only single reference, while every other history involves all the details.
On top of that, the speaker casts doubt on the reading that the Babylonians had great architectural skills. His argument continues that it would be impossible to build a concrete building since the gardens were are constructed by a clay which requires constant moisture moistures supply, otherwise it would will absolutely be collapsed.
Furthermore, the speaker refutes the reading which maintains that rooms, which were used for replenishing water to the gardens, are discovered by the German archaeologist by saying that there is no certain evidence that the rooms were sites for water pumps since rivers were not close to the gardens and such system is not remaining remained now. 문장이 너무 길어서 전달력이 떨어져요. 내용 단위로 끊어서 문단을 구성해주세요.
For these reasons, the speaker challenges the reading’s points that the Hanging Gardens of Babylon existed.
Comment :
대립되는 두 지문의 주장을 각각 잘 정리해주셨어요. '어떤 점에서' lecturer가 reading의 주장에 의구심을 갖는지에 있어서 실제 지문에 detail이 더 있는지 살펴보시고 보완할 부분은 없는지 한 번 더 체크해보시면 좋을 것 같아요. 글에서 대부분의 문장이 좀 긴 편인데, 요약문은 간결한 편이 좋으니 문장을 좀 더 정돈해도 좋을 것 같습니다. 결론 문단은 보통 요약문에서 잘 쓰지 않으니 생략해도 괜찮을 것 같아요. 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Integrated Writing Rubrics Score 4.5/5
A response at this level successfully selects the important information from the lecture and coherently and accurately presents this information in relation to the relevant information presented in the reading. The response is well organized, and occasional language errors that are present do not result in inaccurate or imprecise presentation of content or connections.