▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that the news media convey facts to us. However, in my opinion, the news media often offers us iuncorrect information. This is because it tends to overstate the fact due to its profits and it is partial toward the enterprise. ^ To begin with, it exaggerates the fact because it is a group that pursues the profits. It induces people to click the title of news by using a provacative word. For example, wWhen I i read the mention about the marriage of my favorite actor at the title last week, I was so surprised that I entered it quickly. However, I was quite frustrated because it was written that he just made a girlfriend. In this way, the news media overstates the fact to draw interest is a partial group. ^ On top of that, some news media are related to businesses. To be specific, major corporations lets it portray their products favorly. Last year, Samsung released the new cellphone and most of news media were hurry to promote it. I read several the articles on the news media but I could not see any weaeknesses on it except few. Therefore, I do not belive the news media from that time. ^ To sum up, the news media needs to deliver be obejective and sincere fact for the public. In this regard, I think that mass? has a responsibility to obtain a correct and accurate information from the news media.
Fair (17-20)
글자 수 300 미달입니다. 미니멈 글자 수 맞추지 않으면 감점됩니다.
서론 -uncorrect-->incorrect
첫번째 본문 -예시 시작할때 for example, for instance, 등 지시어 넣고 시작하는 것이 글의 명확성을 높입니다. -철자 오류 -마지막 문장에서, 본문의 내용이 치우친 내용이 아니라 과장이므로 내용에 맞게 마무리 해주세요. 두번재 본문 -철자 오류
결론 -be 동사를 쓰려면 be objective and sincere for the public으로 해주시고 아니시면 동ㅅ를 바꿔주세요. -mass 부분 어떤 의도로 쓰셨는지 모호합니다.
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