Some people ague that having excellent knowledge knoweldge on a particular field is a required skill these days., However, I do not think this is true. I believe that having the ability to adjust to changing circumstances is more important for the two following reasons. First, this ability will greatly reduce one's stress that they obtain in society. Next, ability to well adapt to changing circumstances is an important skill that companies look forward to.
First, having the ability to adjust to changing circumstances will reduce one's stress that they gain from the society. Nowadays, many people seek for ways to avoid problems that causes stress because they know stress will deters their development and discourage their life. These The stress often comes from encountering challenges in life, usually when they attempt to adjust to new circumstances. Studies conducted from Seoul National University examined 2000 participants, above the age agae of 20, to ask in which situations they are more likely to be stressed out. Surprisingly, 42% of the participants asserted that a situation where there is fierce competition is less stressful compared to a situation where they have to face new circumstances. They also wanted to acquire the skill to adjust to changing circumstances with ease, as they thought this skill is particularly very important in life.
Second, ability to well adapt to new circumstances is an important skill that universities or companies require. Admittedly, nowadays, universities and enterprises not only require those who are specialists in their fields but also those that are skillful in social life. They want candidates or applicants who can well assimilate into in to their institution and have indicated that these this ability is one of the most significant considerations when deciding an adequate candidate. This is the reason why universities universiites and companies not only ask for academic achievements but also various aspects of the person. As it has become even more difficult to be accepted into in to a good university or company, due to fierce competition, acquiring the ability to adjust to changing circumstances is an important skill that can lead to success in people's lives. at work place. (대학과 직장을 함께 설명하고 있으니까 people's lives로 묶어도 무방할 것 같아요)
The reasons stated above explains why I agree with the statement that it is far more important to learn to adjust oneself to changing environment compared to having great knowledge knoweldge in one field.
Comment :
전체적으로 나의 입장을 일관성있게 잘 제시해주셨어요. 입장을 뒷받침하기 위한 주장들도 논리적으로 잘 구성되어 있습니다. 오탈자와 필요 이상으로 길게 이어진 문장들에 유의해주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~! Independent Writing Rubrics Score 4.5/5 An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following : - Effectively addresses the topic and task (주어진 주제에 대해 정확하게 이해하고 답변을 제시함) - Is well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications and/or details (적절한 설명과 예시를 사용하여 글을 전개・구성함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence (통일성, 연속성, 일관성을 보임) - Displays consistent facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety, appropriate word choice and idiomaticity, though it may have minor lexical or grammatical errors (사소한 어휘・문법적 오류를 보일 수는 있으나 대체로 적절한 어휘와 표현을 사용하고 다양한 형태의 문장, 유창한 언어 구사력을 보임)
|