▶ Your Answer : Now days,Nowadays, we can use the Internet at any time, any place. Through the iInternet, we can do many things we imagine. Furthermore, of course, we can use the Internet to do academic performance tasks. It has much a lot of information and it even provides the place to share opinions. However, I disagree that the best tool for academic performance is the internet. It is because it has too much information and can be distracting. even distraction.
To begin with, the internet has too much information. While doing academic performance tasks, we try to find some resources that would be helpful. However, when we use the resources, we need to check if it is reliable and adequate for the topic task. We can find that it is uncertain where it is from. the sources may be unreliable. Moreover, we need to filter it the information so that the information is appropriate to our subject. For example, ‘wekipedia’ Wikipedia is made of users’ knowledge and cannot be a reference for paper. You have to pick some reliable fact information to use. Second, by using the internet, you can meet many ways to be distracted. For example, Wwhen you see watch ‘youtube’, you can meet many ways to be distracted. When you see videos or documentary documentaries about your performance assignment, you can see advertisements. You have easy ways to enter access entertainments, while heading to do your works. Temptation would be prevalent in on the internet. Thus, you will try to focus on your work stressfully. (이 문장보다 "Thus, it will be harder for you to focus on your work when you are searching for information online." 이런 표현이 더 정확합니다.) Even While using the internet is effective, it also has weaknesses. Considering the followed following reasons, I cannot say the internet is the best tool for academic performance tasks. Using the library or reading books can be more wise a wiser method to perform enhance your works.
[Score]
21-22
[Feedback]
- the Internet 할 때 I 를 대문자로 써주셔야 합니다. - 부자연스러운 문장들이 좀 있는데 더 정확한 문장들을 공부해 글의 흐름이 자연스럽게 될 수 있도록 해주세요. - 단수 복수 수 일치 주의하세요.
|