▶ Your Answer : There are many ways to spread information and influence the society. These things are usually done by different types of media, like newspaper, books and television. Some people think that books have influenced society more than the television has. However, in my opinion, television has influenced the society much more because people watch television more than they read books, and information is more effectively delivered through television. To begin with, television is being watched more than books. In fact, media (medium - 단수/ media - 복수) such as television can be the best way to spread information and affect the society. According to a research done by National Statistical Office (NSO), many families in Korea has at least one television in their house. This means that the frequency of people watching television is much more higher than reading books. (books 보유 수에 대한 통계가 나와있지 않기 때문에 별도의 비교가 이루어졌다고 보기 어렵습니다) As a result, television would influence the society a lot. (TV를 보유하는 것과 TV를 시청하는 것은 또 다른 이슈이므로 구체적으로 전국민의 tv시청률에 대해 구체적으로 명시하는 것이 중요합니다) On top of that, information is more effectively spread by television. Television allows people to deliver information easily since people just need to transmit signal to radio station and send it to each individual’s house. Studies (예시일 경욱 구체적인 studies 의 출처를 명시해주세요) have shown that printing books costs more than sending signals to radio station for television programs. In the study, they have calculated the price that is needed to print books and transport it. Also, they calculated the price needed to send signals to radio station and transmit to each person’s house and compared those two prices. The study showed that television delivers information more effectively than books. (구체적으로 비용 비교 (얼마나 더 저렴한지) 를 하는 것이 좋습니다) To sum up, people watch television more than books, and information is spread by television more easily. In this regard, I strongly believe that the society is influenced a lot by television than books.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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