▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly, celebrities plays a significant role in people’s daily lives in many of the places where they work or play. Some people thinks that people spend too much time paying to pay attention to the personal lives of celebrities such as entertainers or famous people, while others do not. Both sides may have their own reasons to support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that it is not a problem to spend a lot time concentrating on famous people’s private lives. There are several reasons as follows.
To begin with, when people pay attention to celebrities’ personal lives, it can contribute to an increase in their overall happiness. It gives them a chance to get a vicarious experience that is something different from what they would do in their usual routine by seeing the lives of famous people such as actors or singers. This tends to prevent people from being bored in life. For example, when my sister was is high school, she often felt depressed thinking that her life became an exhausting routine. To survive in a competitive world, she spent the whole day studying all academic subjects, hoping that she could outdo others. Fortunately, she was able to deal with such pressure and stress in a safe way by joining online fan club of KCM, one of Korean singers. She met people who were in the same club she participated in. While talking about his schedule and personal lives with her friends, she was able to let off some steam. Otherwise, she could have involved herself in dangerous activities such as drugs or fights as a way to handle a lot of stress and strain. In other words, if she had not joined the club and had studied all day as she usually had done, she would not have escaped her boring life. lie.
All things considered, it is okay for modern people to spend much time paying attention to celebrities' lives they are interested in. I strongly believe that the advantages of spending time concentrating on how famous people live far outweigh those of just doing what they usually do for the reasons I have mentioned above. All in all, the importance of using a diversion to cope with stress and strain cannot be overestimated in the pursuit of happy life.
Comment : 논제가 묻는 것은 나쁘다, 아니다라기보다는 '과하다/아니다'에 초점이 가 있기 때문에 나의 답변도 장점이 많다는 설명보다는 과한 게 아니라는 식의 표현으로 풀어주는 게 더 좋을 것 같아요. 수고 많으셨습니다~! Independent Writing Rubrics Score 4/5 An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following : - Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated (문제의 요구사항을 대부분 잘 해결함) - Is generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications and/or details (적절하고 충분한 설명과 예시를 사용하며 대체로 글의 구성과 전개방식이 양호함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections (중복된 내용이나 관련 없는 내용, 불분명한 연결이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 드러남) - Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning (글의 의미를 손상시키지 않는 범위 내에서 사소한 문장구조, 단어 형태 오류를 보일 수 있으나, 전반적으로 어휘・통사적 다양성을 갖춘 유창한 언어 사용을 보임) |