▶ Your Answer :
The reading passage contends that there are several possible theories to explain why Kerala, the state of India, experienced red rain. On the other hand, the lecturer brings up several points that contradict this argument. The lecturer points that these explanations are problematic. First of all, the lecturer points out that the theory that red rain came from the blood of bats is far-fetched. This is due to the fact that it is impossible that almost five million of migrating bats were destroyed by thunderstorm or meteor burst. 표시한 내용은 lecturer의 핵심내용은 아닌 것 같아요. 박쥐들 때문이라면 그만큼의 흔적이 있어야 하는데 없다는 점이 핵심이므로 그 부분을 중점적으로 정리하는 게 좋을 것 같습니다. If this had caused red rain, a large amount of bats’ wings and bonds would also have been found with their blood. This contradicts the reading passage’s claim that red rain derived from bat blood dispersed though the atmosphere. Moreover, the point made in the lecture is that Mount Mayon’s eruption was irresponsible for the red rain in Kerala. If massive clouds that include acidic dust from a volcanic eruption in the Philippines had been carried toward Kerala by the winds, the Philippines would also have experience red rain. In addition, some of the countries between the Philippines and India such as Vietnam and Thailand did not experience this rare weather phenomenon. 표시한 부분 더 간단하게 요약해도 좋을 것 같아요. '인디아, 베트남, 태국, 필리핀 등 그 바람이 거쳐오는 다른 지역들에서도 그 현상이 나타났어야 했는데 아니다' 정도면 충분해 보입니다. This refutes the author of the reading passage that a volcanic eruption in the Philippines resulted results in the red rain. Last but not least, the lecturer maintains that there it is hard to explain that local factories and plants’ pollutants combined with moisture in the atmosphere caused the red rain. There is a few factories in Kerala so the red rain could not be generated by chemicals resulted from the factories. Besides, this reddish-brown rain was not detected in cities that had plenty of plants that had responsibility for industrial chemicals. 이 부분도 더 간단하게 줄일 수 있으면 좋을 것 같아요. This is different from the point in the reading passage that pollutants from the local factories are the cause of the red rain in Karela.
Comment : 전체적으로 두 지문이 대립되는 내용을 잘 파악해주신 것 같아요. 통합형은 '요약문'을 요구하는 유형이기 때문에 단어 수를 줄일 수 있는 부분들은 최대한 줄여주는 것이 좋습니다. 반복되거나 겹치는 표현을 더 간략하게 paraphrasing할 수 있도록 신경써주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Integrated Writing Rubrics Score 4/5 A response at this level is generally good in selecting the important information from the lecture and in coherently and accurately presenting this information in relation to the relevant information in the reading, but it may have minor omission, inaccuracy, vagueness, or imprecision of some content from the lecture or in connection to points made in the reading. A response is also scored at this level if it has more frequent or noticeable minor language errors, as long as such usage and grammatical structures do not result in anything more than an occasional lapse of clarity or in the connection of ideas. |