▶ Your Answer :
Some
people believe that improving facilities takes precedence over hiring famous
professors for a university. However, this essay will contend that a university
should concentrate more on hiring famous professors. This is because there is
the opportunity to inform and make the university more popular among people. a university. Moreover, there
is increased rate of employment.
To
begin with, hiring famous professors can help a university to be more popular
among students. Students have a tendency to prefer to learn from more famous professors,
which is because they are confident that the famous professors would lead their
ability to be improved dramatically. Thus, the famous professors with a wide
range of knowledge would attract be fascinated to especially intelligent students, upon
which the level of education of a university would be enhanced. For example,
when I was in high school, Korea University was not famous among students. Most
of students did not want to apply the university. To make known the name of
university, the university started employing some famous professors actively.
With the aggressive strategy, students could know about Korea University and
the number of applied students increased. was augmented.
In
addition, students can enter a company more easily when a university hires
famous professors. In modern society, students attach with great importance to entering enter a company after they graduate. The recommendation of a famous professor
is significantly important to students since the professor has have solid trust
with his or her capability in a country. Also, renowned professors themselves they are the connection with major
companies, which means that they can exert pressure on making students be
employed to some degree. Therefore, students would want to enter a university
with famous professors, which results in increasing the profit of a university.
Warren Buffett seems to be a representative case corroborating the fact that he
was employed by the recommendation of Benjamin Graham, who was a famous economics
professor. Benjamin Graham was related to the major investment company called
as Graham-Newman corp. Buffett was acknowledged from Graham as an intelligent
student. Graham wanted to recommend at the investment company. As a result,
Buffett was able to work immediately without preparing to enter a company like
other students. 교수에게 잘 보여서 취업이 잘 된 사례는 '유명 교수를 고용함으로써 졸업생까지 이득을 보는 것'과는 흐름이 조금 다른 것 같아요. 사례 내용을 조금 더 다듬어서 주장과 연관성을 높여주세요.
To
summarize, famous professors assist a university to be captivated to students,
and moreover they makes it possible for students to enter a company more easily.
Considering the above two reasons, it is evident that a university should
invest more on hiring famous professors.
Comment : 주제에 맞게 내용을 잘 생각해주신 것 같아요. 다만 대학의 인지도를 높인다, 졸업생의 진로에 도움을 준다, 하는 식으로 훌륭한 교수진이 가져오는 이점을 좀 더 명확하게 드러내주면 좋을 것 같습니다. 오탈자와 어색한 표현, 수일치 관련 오류 꼼꼼하게 체크해주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~! Independent Writing Rubrics Score 3.5/5 An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following : - Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated (문제의 요구사항을 대부분 잘 해결함) - Is generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications and/or details (적절하고 충분한 설명과 예시를 사용하며 대체로 글의 구성과 전개방식이 양호함) - Displays unity, progression and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections (중복된 내용이나 관련 없는 내용, 불분명한 연결이 있을 수 있으나 통일성, 연속성, 일관성이 드러남) - Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning (글의 의미를 손상시키지 않는 범위 내에서 사소한 문장구조, 단어 형태 오류를 보일 수 있으나, 전반적으로 어휘・통사적 다양성을 갖춘 유창한 언어 사용을 보임)
|