▶ Your Answer :
When people consider a major
purchase, Bbased on their experiences and
understanding of the world, some people might say that there are many advantages adventage of Rrecommendation from friends or Rreviews from online communities
commucities. However, in my case, the greatest impact on my
choices is Iinformation from magazines.
There are a few reasons why I feel this way.
First, I really consider what
is the best, when I make a decision choose
something. I think that the most information which can be believed is Iinformation from magazines. To be more specific, I
just believe that magazine’s Iinformation
would be chosen choose by editors. What I
mean is that, as an editor, he or she made an effort to pick good information
or fact up. hHe or she would check the
fact whether these are right. On the other hand, Rrecommendation from friends and Rreviews from
online communities are not as effective or efficient as Information from
magazines. This is because, the information from friends and online cannot be believed. I think that sometimes, people just
talk about what they heard. Moreover, in the online world, there are many
things that have are no origin.
Not only that,
there are no any pushing signs. I can argue this with the option’ Recommendation from friends’. When I
heard the Recommendation from friends, I always felt that “I must buy it,
because she recommends”. But in that time, I
just bought it because of her recommendation. wWhen
I do not buy it, I worry about her feeling that is “she ignored me”. It is
one of the difficult thigs. But I do not know what to do. For this reason,
Recommendation from friends is not good. I am sure that others agree with me
too.
Finally, I mind the Reviews from online. As I said before, I
think that there are many information which does not have any origin. This is
because, many people can upload their opinion without their name. eEspecially in the shopping
world, the problem is more serious than other. For example, I bought an
expensive watch 2months ago through online. This
is because there are a lot of reviews. However, the
good which was delivered was too bad to wear. A
Ffew days later, I found the fact. The
reviews were written by workers who were paid from the shopping mall. So I do
not believe Reviews from online communities commucities.
I sincerely say it is not my own problem but general problem in online.
For
these reasons, I personally believe that Information from magazines is the
greatest impact on choices. And many people also follow this way.
Fair (17)
서론 -대소문자 오류 Based-->based -철자 오류 adventage-->advantage -대소문자 오류. 글 처음부터 끝까지 Reviews from online, Information from magazines, Recommendations from friends 라고 쓰셨습니다. 이것들 모두다 대문자로 쓰실 이유가 없습니다. 고유명사만 대문자로 써주세요. -철자 오류 communities
첫번째 본문 -something 같이 애매한 단어는 최대한 피해주세요. when I make a decision 정도로 바꿔주세요. -수동태는 be p.p 입니다. 따라서 choose 의 과거분사 chosen으로 써주세요. -대소문자 오류 he-->He -문맥상 친구들의 의견을 믿을 수 없다 이므로 can-->cannot -things 가 origin 인 것이 아니라 things가 origin을 갖고 있지 않은 것이므로 are-->have
두번째 본문 -파란 부분 이해하기 어렵습니다. -대소문자 오류 -줄 친 부분 불필요합니다. -이 본문 전체가 불필요합니다. 더 객관적인 내용을 본인의 이유로 써주세요. 너무나도 개인적인 성향/감정의 이유입니다.
세번째 본문 -mind 어떤 의미로 쓰셨느지 알 수 없습니다. -대소문자 오류 -파란 부분 이해할 수 없습니다. -few: 거의 없는, a few: 조금, 몇몇의 이 경우에는 몇일이 지나서 이므로 a few days -철자 오류 불필요한 내용 쓰지 않고 필요하고 본인의 주장을 더 잘 이끌어줄, 보다 객관적인 이유만 쓰는 연습해주세요. 또한, 문법/표현 연습 많이 하셔야 합니다.
수고하셨습니다~~
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