▶ Your Answer :It is controversial whether challenging jobs or works have a positive effects on people. In this regard, I believe hard jobs or works make it possible to enhance my ability and earn much money.
To begin with, I think that passing through hardship makes me strong. To be specific, I should use much time to complete given tasks. Also, I should pay more attention to them. Even though we can get a bad superficial grade by doing hard schoolwork. However, it is better than easy A as we can learn much more about certain subject by searching on the internet, in the library and asking professors or experts about schoolwork. It makes us get expertise in our field. For example, when I was a sophomore, I took Fluid Mechanics class. It was so hard that most of students avoided to take it. However, I wanted to learn more about fluid, and studied hard to broaden my knowledge in that field. Consequently, I could not only get A grade but also learn how the air and water moves. It was very helpful for me to take another exam. Thus, I can say that difficult works are helpful for us to develop our ability.
Moreover, doing tough works provide us not only with expertise but also with high salaries. To be specific, people who have s jobs such as engineer, plumber, and. technician can earn much money. However, as these jobs need expertise in their field but also are physically and mentally hard, many people avoid to get these jobs. For example, I worked in construction field for a month. It was very so tough that I could not couldn't do any other things after I arrive home. So there were a few people who work for a long time. Also, to promote as a supervisor in construction field, expertise in construction was needed. However, even as a worker with not so much skills, I could earn much money and I could pay tuition fee and buy laptop computer because the job itself was so demanding. Therefore, doing challenging works makes us to live more affordable.
To sum up, I strongly believe that jobs or schoolwork that are hard to challenge can enrich our lives for the following reasons: expertise in certain field and high salary.
Good (24–26) 첫번째 본문 -두번째 문장에서, to complete 하는 대상이 필요합니다. -파란색 문장 incomplete sentence 입니다. even though 주어+동사, 주어+동사 혹은 주어+동사, even though 주어+동사 로 해주셔야 완전한 문장이 됩니다.
두번째 본문 -단/복수 동사 유의 -축약형 지양해주세요. could not--> couldn't -However 문장에서, 원래 글의 정보로는 내용이 모호합니다. challenging한 일일수록 페이가 세다는 말에 중점을 두어야 본인의 이유가 설득력을 갖게됩니다. 힘드니까 승진하기도 힘들다는 단점으로 들립니다. 그것을 극복하려면 그만큼 장점, 여기서는 보수, 를 강조해야합니다.
수고하셨습니다~~
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