▶ Your Answer :
Undoubtedly,
leader plays a significant role in people’s life. Some people think that
effective leader tries to make others feel that they have been in part of
making decision, while others do not. (주제 문장 그대로 copy하지 마시고 paraphrase해 주세요) Both sides may have their own reasons to
support their views. If I were asked to choose one, I would say that good
leader should try to include others in decision making. There are several
reasons as follows.
First of
all, involving others in decision-making encourages people to improve sense of responsibility,
which leads to more desirable results. If people have a responsibility, they
would be diligent, passionate, and self-disciplined. When these personal traits
are developed, it is likely to bring a better consequence in work. For example,
many research teams, including Seoul National University, analyzed data from
two groups of young workers. One group was consisted of those who participated
in decision-making meeting every day, and the other group was made up of those
who were prohibited from taking part in important meeting. The researchers
found that the former was more likely to achieve their objectives and get a
promotion than the latter. This is because the first group showed a longer
attention span and a stronger passion in their tasks. On the other hand, the
second group tended to get distracted easily and showed poor understanding on what
they do. Hence, if a leader successfully incorporates others into making decision,
a leader can enhance responsibility for those who are involved, which consequently
produces favorable results.
Moreover,
incorporating others in decision-making improve communication among the
workers. Communication among the workers is significant key to success. A
social phenomenon strongly supports this claim. Today, we can easily observe
companies trying to get rid of fixed bureaucracy, which forbids communication
among the workers. Instead, more and more companies are now adopting
network-system, which enhances or encourages opened communication. For example, Apple,
a leading company in electronics, is a prototype of a company that successfully
adopted network-system. Steve Jobs, the Chief Executive Officer of Apple, strongly maintained the importance
of communication. IPhone, a smart phone developed by Apple, started from an idea of a mere employee; it attracted
millions of people to purchase and produced billions of dollars as a profit. Without Steve’s belief on
the importance of communication and him allowing the employee's decision to be executed, IPhone would not have been invented nor
brought recognition to Apple.
All
things considered, I strongly believe that involving others in decision-making
is a vital ability of an effective leader for the reasons I have mentioned
above. By making others feel responsible and enhancing communication, an
effective leader produce desirable outcomes.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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GOOD
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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- 각 paragraph내 reason + explanation모두 정리가 잘 된 글입니다. 수고하셨습니다. |