▶ Your Answer :
There might be some people who
think that parents don’t need to set strict regulations for their children if
they want them to succeed in life. However, I personally disagree with the
above idea for two subsequent reasons. First, adjusting to strict regulations
helps children to have more job opportunities in
the future. Second, children can have a broader
social network by learning social skills from strict rules.
To begin with, children can gain more job opportunities in the future if
they become familiar with strict rules. This is due to the fact that most
companies have hierarchy systems, which include strict regulations. Therefore,
companies actually prefer to employ someone who’s familiar with such hierarchy
systems. According to a survey done by SMF, they interviewed the 100 biggest companies in the
US, and asked them what they think thought
is the most important aspects of employees are. The result is was, over 80% of those companies replied that they think
thought adjusting to strict rules of hierarchy
systems is the most important aspect that employees need to have. This proves
that when children are familiar with strict regulations, they can have more job
opportunities in the future.
Second, setting strict rules will have children broaden their social
networks. The reason is, by strict regulations, children can have chances to
learn about politeness and manners. It means that children can improve social
skills. Since most people prefer someone who is polite and have good social
skills, strict rules will have children to make broader social networks. Let me
bring my personal story for an example. When I was young, my mother gave me
works to do if I behaved rudely like yelling or being late on an appointment.
Such strict rules set by my mother actually made me to be polite and have good
manners, which gave good expressions impressions
to my colleagues in my undergraduate years, and I could have the chance to become a student president.
In conclusion,
parents’ setting strict rules for their children actually helps them to gain more job opportunities, and to broaden
their social networks. In this regard, I strongly believe that parents should
set strict regulations for their children if they want them to be successful.
Writing
0-30 Score Scale |
Good (24-30) |
Score |
26 |
Overall
Comment: |
전체적으로 매우 논리적을 잘
쓰셨습니다. 전체적으로 문법 오류들 때문에 점수를 조금 깎았으니 위 지적사항들을 참고하세요. |
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