▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that School uniforms prevent students from developing their individuality. However, in my opinion, It is beneficial for students that they wear same clothes. This is because they can have more times and money by wearing them. Also, students can have their identity as students reminded identity of students continuously. To begin with, School uniforms are advantageous since students can save time and money. If they do not have to wear uniforms, they would spend a lot of money for shopping new clothes. Also, they might waste plenty of times for choosing clothes every morning. Thus, by wearing same clothes, they learn about habits to save money and learn the importance of time. For instance, I will introduce my experience related to this point. when I was in high school, my school abolished uniforms because of the students' request to guarantee more freedom on the choice of clothes. They maintained that they should be able to decorate themselves, and the school should should respect their styles; I was not an exception of this policy. I spent too much money on packing my closet and was late everyday to school because of worrying about my looks. Eventually, the school changed the regulation again. Students no longer went shopping frequently and used more time they saved for their studying. Through this experience, I realized that infinite freedom is not always correct. In addition, Same outwears are helpful for students' sense of belonging. It also prevents their deviation from the group they belong. (어디로부터 동떨어지는 지 작성해주세요) This means that the same attires can remind them about their identity, and it helps them to be self-discipline. For example, a study was conducted by High School Education Institution of Korea to determine whether school uniforms could affect student's personality formation. The researchers tracked the 200 students of Puil high school for two years. over a 2 year period. Half of them were required to wear same looks, and the rest of them were asked to wear whatever they wanted. What they found was intriguing. The attendance of former group was higher than later one. Also, their derailing was less than later. This was because the clothes affect their daily life. Their personality formation and responsibility were also improved by school costumes. This study proves that uniform regulation is necessary. (주장 내 예시 내용이 다소 정리가 되지 않습니다. 정확히 (조사 대상 - 조사 내용 - 조사 결과의 순으로 정리해 주시고 특히 조사 내용에서 1) 발견 내용 2) 발견 내용의 세부 특성 (예 - 이렇게 실험을 진행한 결과 학생들은 전반적으로 수업에 더 집중했고, 실험에 참가한 참가자들은 교복을 통해 친구들과 더욱 동질감을 느끼고 더욱 소속감을 가질 수 있었다고 답변했다) 등을 보충해주세요) To sum up, school uniforms are useful for student's frugal attitude and their sense of similar identity. In this regard, I firmly believe that school's regulation to make students wear same clothes should be implemented in all school.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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