▶ Your Answer :
Opinions might be divided over
whether people should take an opportunity to have a secure job even
if they are not satisfied with the job, or not. People of various ages and
from different walks of life may take diverse positions on this controversial
issue. Personally, I disagree with the statement that people have to
take a chance to get a stable job regardless of a sense of
contentment they would have.
To begin with, people should
get a job which they can have the most
satisfactory workplace regardless of any situation,
because it helps them lay the foundation for success.
People need a great deal of motivation to be successful in their field. The
motivation enables them to be patient with any severe situation they
would face. One of my cousins, KY, for example, has become a
successful fashion designer. He has worked with a number of
celebrities such as movie stars and athletes in Korea. However, he had so
many difficulties to achieve the success. He was born in a poor family, so
he did not get any professional education. His parents always said to him
that he should work in a factory because of the poverty. However, he
did not give up his dream to be a successful fashion designer and
did his best. The fact that he could get a lot of motivation prevented him from
giving up. Finally, he could become a successful designer he had dreamed. If he had
gave up his dream and accepted his parents' suggestion, he could not be
such a successful figure because he could not be motivated. The same situation
can apply to those who pursue their dreams; they will achieve a great success. (GOOD)
On top of that, if people
did not chase their dream and were just satisfied with a secure job,
they could not get contentment with their job in the future. Moreover, not only
that, the quality of their lives could also be reduce greatly. A few weeks ago, I had a chance to read an article which
was related to the topic. It described the result of a study conducted by Seoul
National University social science researcher with more than 200 random office
workers in Seoul. Participants of the experiment were asked whether they were working in a place in
which they had wanted to work before. After that, the researchers asked some questions about satisfaction of each participant's quality of life. The result was
very interesting; people who were working in an office they had dreamed were more likely to
be satisfied with their life than those who were not regardless of their income level or difficulty of the job. Moreover, workers who
were not satisfied with their workplace were more likely to suffer from
physical and emotional symptom. This clearly proves that waiting for a job that one desires can be more satisfying to the person. with is much better than taking an opportunity right away.
To sum up, not only can people
achieve great success, but they also can and enjoy high quality of life by pursuing the job they always dreamed of. Therefore,
people should wait for a job with which they can be satisfied even
though there is a good opportunity to have a secure job.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
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ORGANIZATION
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PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
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LANGUAGE USE
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GRAMMAR
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GOOD
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GOOD
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FAIR | FAIR
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FAIR
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각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
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