■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : With the help of the Internet, students can learn more effectively. |
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▶ Your Answer :
Many people use
the Internet for many purposes. They could watch entertaining video clips and
play online games through it. However, a lot of people are skeptical of using
the Internet for educational purpose. They believe that students would lack
their concentration easily while using the Internet and get misleading
information from it. Contrary to the popular and old belief, I contend that the
Internet helps students learn more efficiently.
To begin with, students
could find plenty of information from the Internet easily. As people compare
the Internet as the ‘sea of information’, the Internet contains numerous sources
of information. Students could access the Internet whenever they want and
find whatever they want. If students were living in the world not using the
Internet, they may have to go to a library and spend the whole day finding a
single datum ineffectively. Moreover, many students, including high school
students and college students, take advantage of the Internet by taking an online
lecture. With this method, students could supplement their knowledge about a specific
area that is difficult to understand.
On top of that,
the Internet has credible information. Some people are reluctant to accept the
Internet as a believable data provider because they hold the belief that knowledge
existing in the Internet is usually exaggerated or absurd. Although not all data collected from the Internet is plausible, students could selectively
gather information through scrutiny. Unlike the past, new sources of Internet
sites that only provide trustful data have emerged. For example, the governments’
website that contains recent statistics about various fields is open to
citizens publicly. Many universities have accumulated a number of articles and
theses easily accessible to students who search for documents needed for their
project. (에세이에서 비교를 하셔야 합니다. more credible than books 인가요? 과거에는 credible source가 부족했나요? 이런 것들 위주로 서술해주세요.)
To sum up, the Internet
possesses uncountable information that should be not disregarded for their
unreliability. These sources help students strengthen their ability to learn
and successfully accomplish their assignments. In this regard, I firmly believe
that with the help of the Internet, students can learn more effectively. |
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The Internet possesses uncountable information that should be not disregarded for their unreliability.
이 문장의 뒷부분 뜻이 'unreliability 를 근거로 삼아 무시해서는 안된다' 와 같은 맥락으로 통하려면 어떻게 수정해야 할까요?
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The Internet provides a massive amount of accurate information that should not be disregarded for its unreliability, which in fact does not even exist.
정도가 되겠습니다.
내용에서 대비가 조금 더 많이 들어가면 좋을 거 같습니다. (과거와 현재 비교)
그리고 사소한 문법 실수가 많은 편입니다.
proof-reading을 꼼꼼하게 해주세요!
수고하셨습니다. *^^*