■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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시간 맞춰 쓰느라 정신 하나도 없네요.. ㅠ. 보시다시피 초보입니다.
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▶ Topic : Cars have made a greater impact on society thatn airplanes. |
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▶ Your Answer : Some people might say that airplanes have made a greater influence on modern society than cars. However, I strongly believe that cars have had larger effect on society. The invention of cars helps local economy develop and cars can use many people. (cars can use many people이 무슨 뜻인가요?)
To begin with, it helps local economy develop. As economy has been developing quickly, a lot of technology has improved. Especially, many roads are built all over the world. Building roads encourages local economy to develop more. Let me explain for example. I am (줄임말 사용 X) working as a farm's manager as volunteer. My town is in the countryside and releases many products such as lettuce and spinach. However, since transportation has many problems in here, we couldn't sell our good products by car.One day, Road be laid by government, we could sell fresh products to neighbor town using cars. And our local economy is better. (전혀 관련 없는 문장입니다. airplane과 비교해주세요. 그리고 처음에 however, since transportation~ 이 부분 역시 불필요한 문장입니다.)
In addition, cars can use many people. It is true that cars are (주어 동사 불일치) cheaper than airplane. And we can spend less money for driving a car. Moreover, it is easy to purchase cars, if you have sufficient budget. So many people prefer driving a car. According to research, explaining that 7 in 10 travel by car seven out of ten people travel by car. That is a lot of people still use a car. only 1 in 10 move by airplane. The more people use, the more effect they have.
As mentioned above, I am sure that airplane have made a greater influence on modern society than cars. This is because it helps local economy develop and cars can use many people. |
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1. 문장 사이사이마다 엔터키를 치지 말아주세요.
구조를 더 정확하게 잡아주세요.
2. 지금 쭉 보았을 때 에세이 쓰실 단계 아닙니다.
문법을 떠나서 building logic 부분이 굉장히 약합니다.
문장 단위로 영작을 먼저 연습해주세요.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*