▶ Your Answer :
An
intriguing topic of discussion at hand is that developing land is better than
leaving land naturally. The answers in this question can vary greatly depending
on individual perspectives. As far as I concerned, I disagree with this
statement because it is good for citizen’s health. and a country needs to protect its own environment for certain level. In this essay, I will explore two main reasons to support my idea.
To
begin with, I believe that a country should possess certain amount of land that is remained in its natural condition is better
than land to develop housing or industry because it can improve citizen’s quality of life. (삶의 질이 개선된다는 점은 관점에 따라 달라지기 때문에 해당 내용을 좀 더 specific하게 define해 주세요) To be specific, people can enjoy healthy lives without pollutants that are caused by the development of land. According to the research performed by Seoul National
University, many pollutants like fine
dusts that were made while developing land to housing or industry can be created incessantly, and these pollutants can have a negative impact on
human health . This can be proved by a survey conducted by Korea Environmental
Office. (Survey의 경우 1개의 기관에서 조사한 연구결과로 일관되게 내용을 정리하여 작성해주세요) Also, the survey reported that those who lived near fast developing areas had thirty percent
higher possibility of getting cancers than those who live in countryside. In
this sense, I think that land in my country should be remained in its natural condition
because it is good for citizen’s health.
On
top of that, additional land development in my country can disturb environment and
ecosystem. To be specific, while the land is under the construction to build factories, the habitats of wild animal and plant can be damaged. From the research conducted by professor Lee, Soon-Ho,
who is famous as an ecologist, mentioned that about two hundred plant species and fifty animal
species were extinct by land development for housing and industry from 1950 to
2010 in Korea. In addition, according to the research by Korea Environmental Office, the
pollutants such as dusts and wastes generated by land development can destroy the ecosystem. In this manner, people should leave land naturally
because it is good to keep the environment and ecosystem of my country safe.
To
sum up, I strongly believe that the land to be left naturally is better than land
to develop for other uses because it can keep people’s health and
environment in my country. + 마지막 전체 글을 완결 짓는 마무리 문장 (주제에 대한 미래 예측 등) 작성해주세요.
Writing 0–30 score scale: Limited (1-16) / Fair (17-23) / Good (24–30)
ADDRESSING TOPIC
|
ORGANIZATION
|
PROGRESSION AND COHERENCE
|
LANGUAGE USE
|
GRAMMAR
|
GOOD
|
FAIR
|
FAIR
|
FAIR
|
FAIR
|
각 카테고리별 SCORE: LIMITED / FAIR / GOOD
|
|