▶ Your Answer :
An intriguing topic in discussion at hand is whether parents are the best teacher. It may seem true that parents are the best teacher, however, as it is contemplated in depth, there appears to be too much absurdity to argue that the aforementioned statement is true. Although some people may have different opinions and ideas on this topic, iI maintain that parents are not the best teacher anymore on account of following two reasons: Pparents' advice is not as useful as in the past and there are more useful ways to ask for advice rather than asking parents.
First, the world has changed a lot compared to the past and is changing in a very fast speed even now. I do not deny that parents were a good teacher to their children in the past. For example, in the past , people used to have same job with their parents, mostly in agriculture and in such a case, they could learn and ask for advice from their parents. However, things are totally different in today. Most of people of today are getting a job from more diverse and expert area such as Financial engineering, Information Technology, Computer Science, and so on. It is not likely for children to ask their parents for good advice. Someone might say that some parents are so flexible and expert in certain area that they can be a good teacher for their children, but concerning the situation that everything is changing at a rapid rate, I i do not think parents can be helpful for their children.
Moreover, Cchildren of today are more inclined to lean on other methods instead of their parents. Indeed, there was a study conducted by Institute of Korean Sociopolitical Study(IKSS). IKSS surveyed 50,000 Korean university students along with questionnaires. The institute also performed in-depth interview with 5,000 participants. When they were asked what the best method to gain their desired advice or information is, 78% of participants answered that it was a professor from university and the remaining 22% of participants answered it was internet or books. Although this is a small segment of entire population of university students, it means a lot in that large number of participants used other methods instead of asking their parents.
To sum up, although parents were a good teacher for their children in the past, they are not anymore today because of the two reasons that Ii mentioned in my essay.
Good (24–26)
서론 -대소문자 오류 i-->I -: 뒤에 고유명사 아닌 이상 소문자로 씁니다.
첫번째 본문 -대소문자 오류 i-->I
두번째 본문 -대소문자 오류 -같은 문단에서 줄바꿈 하지 않습니다. 내용 두 본문 다 괜찮습니다. 대소문자 오류 실수 개선해주세요. 같은 문단에서의 줄바꿈도 지양해주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~
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