▶ Your Answer : Hundreds of people recommend to apply for studying abroad program, even though the program is extremely expensive. People who have gone through it mostly encourage others either. They are claiming that studying in a new country would fill you with memorable experience and friendship with valuable people.
First of all, it is beneficial since it broadens the experience and thinking of the student. People say that living in one place is like a babe in the woods. Students could explore bigger world which motivate them to aim for a higher goal as well as to embody an international standard. For example, I had studied in United States for one year as an exchange student, at UCLA. At first, I had hard time with adjusting myself into unfamiliar environment. Language, a main factor of my uneasiness, was the biggest huggest barriear that I have encountered. As time passed s, hHowever, I gradually felt el a sense of confidence and accomplishment when I fouind myself making progresses on the field of study. Absorbing new academic topics motivated me, in which these accomplishment led me to push myself into the limit at then. Also, I learned proper manner and decent way of speaking. These small improvements nourished my confidence as well as promoting me to have higher desires disires.
Second, studying abroad provides a great opportunity for making new friends. Friends are very precious asset in one's life, since they could be actually helpful in the moment when you get into to a danger. Studying abroad is a great chance to gain these relationship with someone who could support you. People tend to feel more curious so that they would be more generous to foreign people. Thus, having a friendship with them are quite easier and it lasts longer as well as lasting longer. The research conducted by Association of International Student in Korea(AISK), proved that the friendship built while studying abroad tend to last twice longer than normal types of relationship., Uunlike occassional relationship the uniquness of the situation strengthens the friendship. Hencse, people might feel special about the person. Also, the research pointed out that continuing a linkage with someone who has ve very different backgroud gives positive effects to each others, because the person feels much more confidence and inner bondage by having these friends. The research concludes with encouraging students to apply for the program which gives some opportunity to throw themselves into a new environment.
For these reasons, I firmly beileve that studying abroad would be unforgettable, priceless experience in one's life. You can catch both rabbits: confidence and friends.
Good (24)
서론 -either 은 주로 either A or B 구문에서 혹은, 부정문에서 쓰입니다. ex) He did not like it either. 첫번째 본문 -huggest 어색한 표현입니다. biggest 로 바꿔주세요 -철자 오류 -중간에서, 문맥상 과거이므로 passes-->passed -대소문자 오류 -같은 문장에서, 문맥상 과거이므로 feel-->felt -끝에서 두번째 줄에서, 문맥상 과거이므로 nourish-->nourished -철자 오류
두번째 본문 -철자 오류 -be helpful in -as well as lasting longer은 어색한 표현입니다. 본문에 바꾼대로 바꿔주세요. -중간에서, , 로 문장 두개 이을 수 없습니다. 쪼개시거나 ;로 이어주세요. -someone 을 받는 동사이므로 have-->has -단/복수 형태 유의
내용 괜찮습니다. 표현 오류/철자 오류 많습니다. 연습해주세요. 또한 proofreading으로 보완해주세요.
수고하셨습니다~~
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