▶ Your Answer : The lecturer challenges the thesis of the passage which opposes online drug selling with three grounds. >space First of all, the professor believes that procuring drug online is a right for an individual. Even if there's a possibility of buying medicines that controversial in terms of safety and law, in her perspective, what medication to take is up to one's own determination, not by others. For example, if an internationally-released medicine is not available domestically because of approval procedures by the authorities, he or she has to import medicine by online for maintaining its health which cannot be replaced with any other things. lecture설명 내용이 필요 이상으로 깁니다. 자신에게 필요한 약을 구해서 건강을 돌보는 것은 개인의 권리라는 부분이 핵심이므로 이 부분을 중심으로 꼭 필요한 detail만 남겨서 정리해주세요. 또한 이 내용이 reading의 어떤 주장에 대한 반박인지도 함께 정리되어야 합니다. >space Secondly, the professor comes up with an idea insists that online drug sales is a lot more safer than the traditional way. Contrary to the article which suggests that shoppers can make an error while writing a questionnaire required for buying medicine online, the lecturer contradicts that conventional health counseling could be more detrimental as a patient can only get advice from only one doctor. As various doctors offer numerous advisories diverse advice online, she strongly contends that buying medicine on the web is a much smarter way. reading의 main idea가 '환자가 questionnaire를 잘못 쓸 수 있다'라고 정리된 것은 좀 어색한 것 같아요. 환자가 정확하게 요청사항을 쓰기 어렵기 때문에 안전하지 않을 수 있다 하는 식의 주장이어야 '오히려 더 안전하고 똑똑한 방법이다'하는 반박 연결이 자연스러울 것 같은데, 지문을 한 번 더 체크해보시면 좋을 것 같아요. >space Lastly, according to the lecturer, it is more cost-effective. In the U.S., the cost of medicine is so expensive that some people cannot afford it. If new method for possessing medicine gets underway, patients in the U.S. can save from 50 to 80 percents of their current fees spent on for treatment. This advantage surpasses the side-effects given by the passage that buyers have to buy cheap medicines in bulk from overseas.
Comment : 문제가 요구한 것은 요약문이므로 좀 더 간결한 정리가 필요합니다. 내용상 비슷하게 반복되는 부분이나 비슷한 표현, 수식어구들을 더 정리하고 꼭 필요한 detail만 남길 수 있도록 다듬어주세요~ 수고 많으셨습니다~!
Integrated Writing Rubrics Score 3 A response at this level contains some important information from the lecture and conveys some relevant connection to the reading, but it is marked by one or more of the following : - Although the overall response is definitely oriented to the task, it conveys only vague, global, unclear, or somewhat imprecise connection of the points made in the lecture to points made in the reading. - The response may omit one major key point made in the lecture. - Some key points made in the lecture or the reading, or connections between the two, may be incomplete, inaccurate, or imprecise. - Errors of usage and/or grammar may be more frequent or may result in noticeably vague expressions or obscured meanings in conveying ideas and connections. |