■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic : 해커스 토플 라이팅 인터미디엇 독립형 hackers test 01번 |
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▶ Your Answer : It is debatable whether people should try out several different occupations before committing to a long-term job. However, in my opinion, having a lot of different jobs before entering long-term jobs has many benefits because it provides people with skills and is useful for companies. To begin with, I think that trying some a variety of occupations first is practical for many people. They can learn practical skills that are needed in their future jobs. They can also become a person who is skillful and adaptable to their environment. They might have more opportunities to participate in many jobs. For example, my mother is an English teacher in Korea. She had several jobs before she actually became a teacher. She was a teacher in private academy. After she finished the academy’s job, she was in charge of a teacher assistant in national school. She sometimes said that she thought that her previous jobs helped her to be nicer teacher now. On top of that, I think that (대소문자 구분) it is helpful for any companies. They might need workers who are professional. If they have a number of skillful workers, their performance and results would definitely increase and be amplified. Additionally, their products are made very effectively and they are able to get fame from many customers. Studies have found that companies that have more professional workers easily accomplished their maximum goals. They made a lot of profits more than three (아라비아 숫자 사용을 하지 말아주세요) times of their original aim. As a result, their reputation increased significantly and the CEO, Mr.Kim, said that they were looking forward to next year results as well. To sum up, trying numerous jobs offers people many benefits and useful key to be successful in their life. Moreover, it can be helpful for many businesses and firms. In this regard, I think that it is necessary for people to experience many occupations before having long-term jobs.
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1. 첫 번째 바디 문단의
She had several jobs before she actually became a teacher. She was a teacher in private academy. After she finished the academy’s job, she was in charge of a teacher assistant in national school.
이 부분은 예시가 될 수 없습니다. (토픽에 맞지 않기 때문)
다 teacher이므로 다른 직업이라고 할 수 없습니다.
배관공, 선생님, 은행원 등이 다른 직업이라고 할 수 있겠네요.
2. 두 번째 바디에서는 다양한 직업들을 통해
구체적으로 어떤 능력을 얻을 수 있는지 전혀 언급이 안 되고 있습니다
예를 들어 배관공이면 기기 수리 능력 선생님이면 지식 은행원이면 산수 등
보다 자세한 예시를 들어서 설명해주세요.
3. 문법은 깔끔한 편입니다.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*