■ Direction You have 20 minutes to plan and write your response. Your response will be judged on the basis of The quality of writing and on how well your response presents the points in the lecture and the relationship to the reading passage. Typically, an effective response will be 150 to 225 words.
■ Question Summarize the points made in the lecture you just heard, explaining how they cast doubt on the points made in the reading
▶ Topic : Which or the three should people control to maintain their health?
1. The amount of food intake
2. The amount of exercise
3. The amount of stress they have
▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable whether what people should do to maintain their health. This is an intriguing question because opinions regarding this issue can be different depending on people’s perspectives. In my opinion, however, I support the idea that people have to reduce their stress level in order to be healthy for the following reasons.
People should manage their stress since it is the easiest way to restore their health. Controlling the amount of food is very difficult to do because it requires a variety of knowledge about food. People who do not know about how much calories of meals they should consume per day and what kind of food is beneficial for a human body cannot control (철자 오류) the amount of their food. It might be more dangerous if they extremely decrease or increase their meals. In addition, exercising is also not a good way to keep in shape. Exercise usually needs a lot of time and stamina. People in this competitive and busy world cannot easily spend their time and stamina for exercise. People nowadays have a significant amount of tasks, projects and responsibility, so it may be better to sleep or take a rest for their mental health rather than go outside and exercise. Reducing the stress level and taking care of their psychological health are beneficial for people since it can provide a higher productivity and quality of life. For example, last year, I took a semester off to take some rest. Recalling my mind-boggling campus life, it was very complex and stressful for me. I had to care my relationships between my friends and study to get a good grade for my scholarship. I already had many part-time jobs for my living expenses, and (연결어 필요합니다) I could not sleep at night due to worries about tomorrow. I thought that my condition was bad, so I tried to change the amount of my meals and do exercise, but it made me more tired. However, after I started not to go to the university and just relax at home, I felt my body condition was gradually better and my anxiety was also reduced. Through this experience, I realized that managing the stress level is most important for people to stay healthy.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that people should put their effort to lower their stress level in order to live a healthy life. All things considered, this is my belief that the argument concerning this topic has been precisely and effectively delivered with the reason I mentioned above. Never should we forget that this issue might have a huge impact on our lives.
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1. 문법은 대체적으로 깔끔한 편입니다. 철자 오류 등 작은 실수만 잡아주시면 큰 문제는 없어보입니다.
2. 토플 에세이의 기본적인 구성은 서론 - 본론 1 - 본론 2 - 결론입니다.
그런데 지금 본론 2가 빠져있는 것을 확인하실 수 있습니다.
다른 reason 하나를 더 써주시면 구조상으로 더 보기 좋은 에세이가 될 듯합니다.