▶ Your Answer : Some people might say that anonymity is a core on the Internet in order to express one’s opinions. However, in my opinion, anonymity has a detrimental effect on several aspects for the following two subsequent reasons. To begin with, online attendants easily express their thoughts without considering others’ mind. To be specific, people have a tendency to speak out their voices regardless of whether it is true or not in cyberspace. For example. one female actor called SuJI has suffered from the vicious comments related to drug written by someone. The statements surfing many sites was false and insulting to her. This kinds of small behaviors made her go to hospital to treat her severe stress. In addition, her pure character and reputation had a significantly negative influence was negatively affected. Therefore, she could not help suing the vicious persons without hesitation. On top of that, people prefer using their real name online to anonymity. To explain, anonymity might mean cowards or hiders in virtual space; thus, in general, people tend to express their statements under control and responsibility. For example, there was the survey conducted by Korea University, with 300 people as respondents. The purpose of the survey was to figure out the preference of opening their name on the Internet while commenting articles, pictures and any things. What it found was astounding. Overwhelming 80% responded that they would like to write comments including their real name because they want to be in charge of their opinions and provide true information with netizen. To sum up, taking the negative impacts of anonymity and the affirmative aspects of releasing real names into consideration, it is worth giving real names on the Internet. In this regard, I strongly believe that providing real names far outweigh its counterpart.
점수: 27 지적할 부분이 없는 독립형 에세이입니다. 독립형 에세이에서 가장 중요한 부분을 차지하는 것은 설득력 입니다. 지금 이 에세이 같은 경우에 있어서는 설득력 부분에 있어서 완벽히 숙지가 된 상태입니다. 각 단락에서의 구체적 설명과 적절한 예시들을 통하여서 왜 익명으로 인터넷에서 하는 것이 좋지 않는 지를 명확하게 잘 보여주는 거 같습니다. 수고많으셨습니다.
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