■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words.
■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer
▶ Topic :
People in society work in a many different settings, and for a variety of reasons. What do you think are the main reasons why people have jobs? To feel happier about their lives / to save money for the future/ to develop new skills
▶ Your Answer :
It is debatable whether the reason that people in society work is feeling
First of all, people should not
계속 confusing하게 쓰는 문법도 그렇고, 문장의 형식도 그렇고 제대로 뜻을 전달하는 문장이 거의 없습니다
예를 들어 문장을 사람들은 늙는다, 회사는 늙은 사람 안 뽑는다. 이렇게 쓰는 방식이라 서로 연결도 안되고, 주장을 이해하는 게
너무 어렵습니다.
In addition, there are little cases that when people get a job they wanted, as a result people just go to company to save money. (무슨 상관관계인지 전혀 모르겠습니다) Most people have what they want to work but usually it spends a lot of time and money. Eventually, they get a job do not hope just concerning pay. For example, according to a study done by the Korean times, they researched the reasons why people work in their occupations. As a result, saving the money for future was the highest answers as seventy percent. Respondents stated that this is because working careers were not the place they wanted, which as result they did not feel achievement and satisfaction from working and even want to learn more about works. Ultimately, working in a job just the means that earn money for future.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that the reason people work in job is saving money for the future. All things considered, my argument regarding this topic has been precisely and effectively delivered with the reasons mentioned above. Never should we forget that this issue may have a huge impact on our future.
이해할 수 없는 문장이 너무 많습니다.
문장 쓰기, 만들기 연습이 선행되어야 합니다