▶ Your Answer :
It is of
great importance for game players to defeat someone and to win in a game.
However, some people might claim that it is not only thing that the players enjoy
the game is to win because they can learn something from what they lose.
Nevertheless, it appears that most people agree that winning game must get rid
of stress and strengthen their confidence, which definitely seems to be the factors
to make them fun. I have the same opinion with this issue.
First and foremost, whenever we are defeated
by the opponent, we get stressful. It is far harder for people to enjoy the
game under this situation. For instance, I had a football match, and my team lose
3-1 against the other even though I scored a goal. Back then, I could not have
fun with the game because we failed to win. Unlike this match, two days later
after the game, we met the same time as before, and we won 2-0. Even I did not
have a goal, but I celebrated the winning game with my team and enjoyed the
time. Therefore, owing to the fact that a winner can remove stress, it is the
most important to be winner in a game to enjoy.
On top of that, it is possible for players to have
higher self-confidence. The high self-esteem must be a motivation for them to
make the game enjoyable. In my case, I had kept winning in LOL, a computer
game. Users looked up to me and I got a high confidence on playing game. This incited
me to enjoy the game. This example can be applicable to people who want to be
fun with a game because the winning game causes people are respect of me.
In a nutshell, this disputed matter is
regularly brought to mind and still some people might think that if the players
hang up on the outcome of the game too much, they must be depressed. However,
following the reasons above, it is evident that the winning people have strong self-confidence
and get rid of stress, which factors let the players have fun with a game.
introduction은 없는 건가요? structure로 본다면 에세이의 큰 한 부분이 없는 느낌입니다. 주장 자체는 아주 좋고, 이에 대한 설명도 좋은데, 두번째 body는 첫번째 body에 비해 supporting detail의 양이 조금 부족한 느낌입니다.
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