▶ Your Answer : Some people think that a city try to destroy its old, historic buildings and replace with modern buildings because they think new building improve profits for them should try to destroy its old, history buildings by replacing with modern building as the new one can bring profits. However, my opinion is different from people’s think. I think that a city should try to preserve its old and historic buildings for following specific reasons.
First of all, that buildings have value of history and educational old building has value of history. It is more important to know about our country’s history through old structure than to build new building. Because, we can walk forward, we must know about history that make us to get more strong power and knowledge of solve problem that will be happen In order to go forward, one has to know about our history to make our country better. Also, that building does educational existence for our children. For example, in my country, when a city destroyed historic building, people powerful disagree that and campaign to protect that building. Because that structure give us to history of values and we thought that was so important thing in our lives. by campaigning to protect as the building contains historical value In this regard, that structures have a lot of valuable thing for us.
Second, a city can get more money from that buildings which enables our city to improve its profits. We used that building to turn our city into a famous place, we can make profits buildings to attract travelers to earn profit. And new buildings are not necessarily good for the economy and our lives. For example, in my country, there are place places to collect old and traditional house in Jeonju. The traditional houses in that place make makes (house는 단수 주어 입니다) Jeonju to change the famous place in our country and improve the economy of Jeonju. In this regard, we can get so much money from old and historic buildings.
To sum up, I think that a city should try to protect its old and historic structures for specific reasons. First, that buildings have value of historic and educational, so we can learn a lot of thing such as value of history from that structures. Furthermore, a city can get some money from that buildings and that enables our city to improve its profits. Consequently, the importance of my view cannot underestimated for this several reasons that I mentioned above.
점수; 22 일단 가장 말하고 싶은 부분은 결론을 장황하게 서술할 필요가 없습니다. 결론은 에세이를 마무리 하는 역할이기 때무에 모든 이유에 대한 설명을 넣어줄 필요가 없습니다. 또한 너무 문장들이 that으로 시작하는 부분이 많습니다. 이러한 문장들은 완벽한 문장이 아니기 때문에 주의하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 문법적 오류들을 숙지하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |