■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words. ■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer |
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▶ Topic :
176p Some people argue that the most important aspect of a job is the pay, while others considers their enjoyment of the work or their relationship with co-workers the most important. In your opinion, what is the most important aspect of a job? Provide specific reasons and details to support your answer.
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▶ Your Answer :
Some people might say that the first factor to choose a job is a high salary in contemporary society. However, in my opinion, I firmly believe that there are many considerations as well as salaries when getting a job for the for the following two subsequent reasons. To begin with, young generation pursues work and life balance compared to old generation. In the past, the elderly regarded their work as the most crucial aspect in their life and they recommended working overtime as a social virtue. However, in modern society, youngsters have different mind of occupations. The young have focused on balanced life between work and their lives; thus, they tend to prioritize their free time without overworking. For example, one of my friends entered one conglomerate called Hyundai with high income. However, after a few months, he decided to quit his job due to no leisure time to do things he likes. For the instance, it was clearly seen that the most important value to select a job was a personal time. On top of that, the second essential aspect to get a job is self-satisfaction through work. To be specific, people put an emphasis on being content with their task. For instance, there was a survey conducted by Ministy of Labor, with 300 office workers as respondents. The purpose of the survey was to figure out what you considered the most important factor when choosing jobs. What it found was astounding. Overwhelming 85% responded that they put a priority in their preferences and self-satisfaction regardless of salaries. From the result, it was definitely shown that self-satisfaction played a pivotal role in getting a job. (self-satisfaction을 가짐으로써 어떤 효과가 생기는지 구체적으로 서술해주세요. 그리고 위에 문단도 personal time을 가짐으로써 어떤 효과가 생기는지 말해주세요. ex. relieve stress, etc)
To sum up, taking the various views regarding choosing a job into consideration, money is not the only way to take account of making a living. In this regard, I strongly support the perspective that work and life balance and self-satisfaction far outweigh a high salary. |
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1. 각 문단 시작 전에 tab 버튼 눌러서 들여쓰기 해주세요.
2. conclusion의 분량을 3문장 이상으로 늘려주세요.
3. 주어진 옵션은 pay, enjoyment for the job 그리고 relationship with co-workers입니다.
워라밸과 자기만족은 에세이 토픽에서 제시한 요소에 없습니다.
따라서 오프토픽입니다.
주제를 잘 읽고, 이 셋 중 하나를 골라주세요.
4. 철자 오류가 잦은 편입니다. 심한 감점의 요인이 될 수 있으니, 에세이 작성을 마치시고 꼼꼼히 검토해주세요.
+) 단어를 외우실 때 스펠링을 집중적으로 외워주세요.
수고하셨습니다. *^^*