▶ Your Answer :
I believe that the clothes a person wears show them (무엇을 보여준다고 하는 것인가요?). Most people would agree this statement. By putting outfit, people can indicate not only how they different from others, but also how they can be harmonized with a specific environment. for the following two subsequent reasons (인트로 부터 적절하지가 않습니다)
To begin with, people use some items to show off their outstanding. Even though they do not talk to others, they can convey their confidence or wealth. This is because when When (this is because는 적절한 표현이 아닙니다) we meet someone, the first thing that we can see is their appearance. For example, my friend collects some luxury goods such as hand bags or shoes. She believes that these stuffs make her to look a valuable person look valuable person (make뒤에는 동사 원형이 나와야합니다). She said that anyone who encounters her treats her better due to these kinds of products.
On top of that, we can find other's ability to get along with other people when we are in a situation that asked specific garments such as funeral or weeding. Wearing suitable clothes is very important in our society. We can give our respect or sympathy by putting clothes. For instance, suppose that someone would turn up in the funeral with a red dress. Every person in there feels awkward and thinks that person is rude. Thus, we definitely need to consider the time and occasion when we have clothes on.
To sum up, what outfit we are dressed in is the best way to express us. It is enough method to indicate our personalities and characters. For the reasons that I mentioned above, I think that clothes show the person exactly.
점수; 22 일단 지금 이 에세이는 인트로 부터 적절하지 않습니다. 인트로 부터 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지 모르겠습니다. 전체적으로 설명이 모호합니다. 인트로에서 자신의 주제가 나오지 않았습니다. 주제를 명확하게 서술하고 자신의 주장을 전달하는 것이 가장 중요한 것 같습니다. 이러한 부분은 각 단락에서 도 나타나기 때문에 주의하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셧습니다. |