Opinions might be divided whether you prefer the entertaing aspects of the movies or the educational and thought-provoking side of them. Personally, I love to watch the movies that present presents thought-provoking messages because of three reasons. First, one of its functions function is to awake people's thought. Second, there are plenty of people who expect the moives to influence them.
First of all, one of its functions function is to awake people's thoughts. The movie directors usually have the reason why they make the films. It means they have certain messages to deliver to the viewers of the movie they made. People often become sentient after they saw some movies and they apply its messages to their lives or other's lives. <원래 그런 기능을 가지고 있으니까>라는 주장은 설득력이 떨어집니다. <왜, 어떻게 그런지>를 설명해서 읽는 사람을 설득해야 하는 문제에서 <원래 그러니까 그렇다>라는 설명은 우기기 식의 설명으로 받아들여지기 쉽지요. 좀 더 설득력있는 idea가 되도록 현재 내용을 발전시켜주세요. 생각할 점을 던져주는 영화를 더 선호하는 이유에 대해 묻고 있으므로 생각할 점을 주는 영화의 장점이나 그것이 가져오는 순기능에 대해 논하는 것이 더 적절합니다. For instance, some reverends in the church often quote some lines or the plots in a certain film when they preach to the congregation on Sunday. They may combine the messages of the films they saw with the story of bible or words of God in order to have congregation understand his/her point better. Moreover, the teachers and professors also utilize thought-provoking ideas from the film they saw to give their students assignments or to give them the topics in movies to dicuss. As we can see in the daily life, the ideas or messages that are contained in the film play important roles in the human society.
On the top of that, there are plenty of people who want wanted to be influenced by the movies and this reason attracts attract them to the cinema. 주장이 명확하지 않습니다. 영화로부터 영향을 받고 싶어하는 사람들이 극장에 간다, 라는 설명만으로는 <왜 생각거리를 주는 영화가 더 좋은가>에 대한 답변이 될 수 없습니다. 생각할 거리주는 영화를 봐야 스트레스를 더 잘 풀 수 있다거나 실생활에 도움을 받을 수 있다거나 하는 식으로 더 구체적인 이점을 보여주는 주장이 설득력을 가질 수 있습니다. People often feel they need to have catharsis or blow off steam and they pay a visit to the cinema quite often to achieve such purposes. Some people might get catharsis or blow off their steam by watching the movies that soley focus on the entertainment and amusement of people. It seems that people are satisfied with such funny or hilarious movies when they watch them. it, however, However, according to the research conducted by the Union of Korean Actors and Actress(UKAA), tell us different statistics. people who watched such entertaining movies felt 23% satisfaction and those who watched the message-carrying films felt more than 60% of satisfaction. It means that people who watched the influential film were was more satisfied than those who watched the films that were made for fun. 단순히 통계를 보니 이렇더라, 하는 설명만으로는 설득력이 떨어집니다. 생각할 거리를 가지면 그 영화에 완전히 몰두할 수 있어서 일상의 스트레스를 잊어버리기에 더 좋다, 하는 식으로 필자의 opinion이 논리적으로 먼저 제시되어야 합니다. 사례 내용은 내 주장이 실제로 맞다는 점을 보여주는 보조자료에 해당할 뿐입니다.
To sum up, I do not want to degrade the value of the entertaining movies. They are also valuable because people can blow their stress by watching such movies. However, It is likely that people are more favorable to the movies that carry carries the thought-provoking messages.
주요 채점기준 (항목별 5-4-3-2-1점수로 30점 만점 자가채점)
논제 파악 effectiveness in addressing the task
적절한 설명 appropriate explanation
적절한 예증, 구체적 설명 appropriate exemplification, details
일관성, 단계적 구성, 주제와의 연관성 unity, progression, coherence
다양한 단어 구사 syntactic variety
적절한 단어 선택, 관용적 표현 word choice, idiomaticity
Writing 0–30 score scale
Limited - Fair (16–20)
단순히