Grading encourages students to learn
*진하게 표시한 부분은 제가 파악한 문단의 주요 내용이니 참고하세요^^
Along with the constant progress of the global economic condition as well as the prosperity seen on the current living standard, people put more attention on grading system for college. This disputed matter is regularly brought to mind. Logically, people who grew up from diverse environments maintain various understandings towards the issue. From my perspective, the grading system is a positive impact on students. This is because students can not only undergo stimulation with their each different result results, but also think about the next advance stage by setting goals.
The initial motive for my stand that is exceptionally evident to everyone is that the grade estimation itself becomes a stimulant to the students, so they are inspired from their each different grades each other. 바로 사례를 제시하기 전에 내 주장이 설득력있게 받아들여질 수 있도록 더 구체적인 설명을 보완해주세요. 내 주장이 정말 맞다는 점을 증명해줄 수 있는 예증 자료 역시 중요하긴 하지만, 채점자가 가장 중점을 두고 보는 부분은 논리력, 즉 <구체적인 설명을 통해 주장을 설득력있게 제시하는 능력>입니다. 2-3문장 정도로 점수를 매기는 것이 어떻게 학생들에게 공부에 대한 동기부여가 될 수 있는지를 구체적으로 설명해주세요. To illustrate my point, when I was a junior high school student, I got an "B+" in mathmatics exam. However, Howecer, my best friend got an "A" in the test. Although my feeling was wear and jealous of from him, but this test became a stimulant so that I would will do better on the next time by approaching a topic from a new viewpoint. Due to these facts, there is no doubt that it is true that grading motivates students to study.
One more contention that we have to think about is that the grades grade reflect reflects a person's current status, so it which becomes the landmark in which make to reach the next stage. 좀 더 명확한 idea로 내용을 다듬어주시고, 구체적인 설명을 보완해주세요. grading system이 학생들에게 목표설정을 할 수 있게 해 줘서 공부의욕을 복돋운다는 식의 main idea로 정리하면 좋을 것 같아요. 설명 내용도 왜, 어떻게 학생들이 grading을 통해 목표설정이 가능한지, 이것이 왜 공부의욕과 관련이 있는지를 연결해서 보완할 수 있지요. In a recent research conducted by the Government of South Korea, it stated that 75.1% of the high class 10% students who were taking Seoul National University studied about the contents of the test which they already taken. 문장내용이 잘 이해되지 않습니다. 전하고자 하는 내용이 clear하게 정리될 수 있도록 적절한 단어 활용과 주술호응관계를 체크해주세요. This is because 쉼표삭제 even if 쉼표삭제 they received A in almost all subjects, but they were not satisfied with their results, and they predicted about the next test question types by analyzing this test the previous questions types. This is not an isolated incident, similar research was researches were conducted in many other Asian countries such as Japan and Taiwan and the results were similar for the same reasons. *research는 불가산명사이므로 수량표현을 사용하지 않습니다. In this sense, it is undeniable that grading encourages students to learn. 학생들이 시험을 본 이후에 복습한다는 설명이
Based on what was previously conferred, we may conclusively claim that grading encourages students to learn by being promted motivating each other and becoming a milestone. However, everything has two sides, and in order for the disadvantages not to prevail, we should exercise causion and moderation. As we all know, too much of anything is bad for us.
주요 채점기준 (항목별 5-4-3-2-1점수로 30점 만점 자가채점)
논제 파악 effectiveness in addressing the task
적절한 설명 appropriate explanation
적절한 예증, 구체적 설명 appropriate exemplification, details
일관성, 단계적 구성, 주제와의 연관성 unity, progression, coherence
다양한 단어 구사 syntactic variety
적절한 단어 선택, 관용적 표현 word choice, idiomaticity
Writing 0–30 score scale
Limited - Fair (16–22)
나의 입장을 support하기 위한 설명내용을 더 보완하고, 적절한 사례 내용이 되도록 내용을 다듬어주세요. 사례만으로 내용을 일반화시킨다는 인상을 주지 않도록 주장에 대한 general explanation을 보완해주는 것이 좋습니다. 문장이 필요 이상으로 복잡해지거나 부적절한 단어 활용이 생기지 않도록 유의해주시고요. 기본적인 문장력이 좋으시니까 논리부분만 적절하게 보완하시면 충분히 더 좋은 점수 받으실 수 있을 거예요^^ 수고 많으셨습니다. 화이팅!