People might argue that governments should invest more budgets to develop make the internet more easily accessible than to promote public transportation. However, contrary to this this idea, I strongly believe that governments should spend more money encouraging people to use public transportation. The fundamental reason behind this is that it is helpful for people`s heath to ride take public transportation and (that) it is helps relieve their stresses.
First of all, riding taking public transportation will be good for one’s physical health. This is mainly because using public transportation such as the subway or a bus helps city to maintain peaceful clean environment by decreasing the use fo fossil energy. From my experience, my town where environment was damaged by severe cars emissions and encouraged local residents to ride public transportation. After this policy was activated conducted, the environment of the town became fresh and clean by using the subway or a bus and stopping a automobile.
Moreover, it public transportation helps people relieve their stress to use public transportation. An important reason is that there is no traffic jam with the subway or buses. (This is because there is no~ 라고 쓰는 게 좋을 것 같아요. 그냥 중요한 이유라고 하면 앞의 내용과 잘 이어지지 않는 것 처럼 보입니다.) If people continuously increase the use of a car, a number of roads will be in chaos. a number of loads will be confused. Thus, people cannot would not be able to get to their destination on time, which will lead them to be stressful stressed and exhausted. For instance, Seoul, the capital city of Korea, increased gasoline taxes to encourage citizen to use public transportation transfortation. Through this change, the number of cars in use were decreased considerably. Consequently, people were able to save their time and relieve traffic stress.
In constrast, without any doubt, using budget for public transportation is more useful. This is because it helps environment keep stay clean and also helps people to maintain their mental health in a good condition. | |
Writing 0-30 Score Scale
Fair (17-23)
Public transportation을 탄다고 할 때는 ride 보다는 take이라는 동사가 좀 더 자연스럽습니다. 내용에 좀 더 어울리는 형용사/동사에도 신경을 쓰는 게 좋을 것 같아요. 내용에 따른 문장의 시제에도 주의 해주세요. 그 외에 내용적인 부분에서는 정확하게 public transportation에 대한 invest를 해야한다고 주장하면서 그에 맞는 이유를 잘 써주신 것 같아요. 문법적인 부분에서만 조금 더 신경 써 주면 될 것 같아요.