Some people think that students
can learn more things such as people and social skills
in a large class than in a smaller class, such as
people and social skills. However, in my opinion, the pros of
learning in a small class far outweigh the
those in a larger one. Therefore, I agree with
the statement that it is much easier to learn in a small class than in a large
one. In this essay, I will give a couple of rationales to support my ideas as
follows.
First reason why students should
learn in a small class is that they can get an individual attention from
teachers more than in a larger one. To be
specific, when a lot of students are in a class, it is hard for teacher to
focus on each student. However, if there are a
few students in a class, teachers could can have an academical interest
with in
individual students academically. As
a result, students will be able to can improve their knowledge and academic
achievement. For example, when I was a student in a high school, students were are
required to study in the a class where there are
were just ten members. It is was very easy to
ask teacher about things I couldn’t what I do not understand well or what I want to know more about
and I also could get a feedback quickly and
instantly. If my classes had included
thirty members, it would have been harder to question such things and get
responses promptly in
a prompt.
앞의 내용에 선생님의 관심이 있으면 학생들이 improve할 수 있다고 썼으니 뒤의 예시에서도 빠르게 피드백받고 질문도 더 자주할 수 있어서 성적도 좋았고 더 많은 것을 배울 수 있었다고 써 주는 게 좋을 것 같아요.
Another reason why schools should
force students to attend a small class is that it raises rate of participation rate
of students their
classes. It is clear fact that the lesser
students are in a class, the more they can take part in
the class. This is because they can have more chances to share and express their ideas, as well as express their ideas and assert their
opinion. Such active participations are helpful for student’s academic
performance and future career. According to a research conducted by the
Ministry of Education of Korea, people who studied in a small class in school
have a positive attitude toward both their study and work. They also mention
that those attitudes have positive effects on outcomes they do. As a
consequence, school should assign a small number of students in a class in
order to increase students’ participation, which benefits their future
career.
All in all, because of the reasons mentioned above, I firmly believe that students can learn more things in a smaller class in ease. Therefore, I think that school should try to offer students as less classmates as possible.
Writing 0-30 Score Scale
Fair – Good (20-27)
전반적으로 막힘없이 잘 읽히는 에세이 입니다. 문법적인 부분에서 조금 신경을 써 줘야합니다. 과거의 이야기를 쓸 때에는 과거동사를 써서 전체적인 시제를 맞춰주세요. 그리고 각 문단의 이유와 예시가 잘 연결될 수 있도록, 이유에 mention했던 내용을 예시로 support 해 주는 것이 좋습니다. 그 외에는 잘 쓰신 것 같아요. 조금만 수정하면 좋은 에세이가 될 것 같습니다.
수고하셨습니다.