▶ Your Answer : Museums are living histories, and history is what makes us into who we are. Not only do they show us countless years of history, but introduces travelers to the cultures of the area. It might be safe to say that museums carry all the information about a group of people and an area of land. Therefore, there is no doubt that it is very beneficial for travelers to visit museums when they travel to new places. ( good start! i love it !)
First of all, learning basic history of people can never do you any harm especially when you are there as a traveler. Museums are especially helpful as it carries tons of artifacts that allow you to experience a history while interacting with them. Not only that, museums have detailed information about the history to the point where a local person cannot teach you. In this sense, museum is a place compacted with valuable knowledge that you will not be able to learn anywhere else. (more details, like how?)
Secondly, museums also carry basic information about the culture of a group. Visiting museums first in order to learn the basic cultures of a society can make sure that you do not insult anyone by continuing to act in a way that might have been allowed in your culture, but not accepted in where you are traveling. Not only that, connecting it back to the first reason about history, when you know the history about a group of people, you learn basic cultures about the people as well.
In conclusion, visiting museums first when you travel somewhere can ensure a safe and intellectual trip where both the people living in where you are traveling, and the traveler can have fun without creating any misunderstandings. Museums serve as a living history, and a source of knowledge in a fun and exciting way as it holds many things that you can experience first-hand. (one more well- organized last sentence is needed, for example, combine theis of first and second body paragraphs? )
very good !!
주요 채점기준 (항목별 5-4-3-2-1점수로 30점 만점 자가채점)
논제 파악 effectiveness in addressing the task
적절한 설명 appropriate explanation
적절한 예증, 구체적 설명 appropriate exemplification, details
일관성, 단계적 구성, 주제와의 연관성 unity, progression, coherence
다양한 단어 구사 syntactic variety
적절한 단어 선택, 관용적 표현 word choice, idiomaticity
Writing 0–30 score scale
Good (26-30)
well-organized !
more detail is needed! ( personal experience )
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