High school students should be allowed to choose which subjects they will study.
*진하게 표시한 부분은 제가 파악한 문단의 주요 내용이니 참고하세요^^
When it comes to subjects in high school, some people argue that high school students should take the courses which are compulsory according to their curriculum. However, I definitely believe that it is ideal that high school students take the subjects which they choose spontaneously. This is not only because they are absolutely able to improve their study performance because of the self-motivation, but also because it will help them to find and develop their talents and dreams for their future success.
First of all, high school students should be given an opportunity to choose the subjects which they will take because they can increase their academic performance with the great motivation. This is evident when one ponders that when students take the classes that they are truly interested in and want to learn, they are more likely to be motivated for studying and thus, to augment their academic results. 적절한 idea와 설명입니다. main idea의 경우 간결하게 핵심 내용만을 담아 전달력을 높여주는 것이 좋으므로 문장을 다듬어서 더 간단하게 만들어봐도 좋을 것 같아요. To illustrate this point, for instance, my sister was originally not good for her academic performance while in middle school because she always did not pay attention to her mandatory classes. However, she was able to boost her study consequence after she entered the high school with the free choice policy in taking courses. This was mainly because she could be absorbed absorb in the subjects which catched catch her interest interests and concentrate better on her interesting schoolwork. As a result, she academically became a prominent pupil for her class. If it had not been for this open system of taking classes, she would have not been able to achieve this incredible performance in high school. 주장을 뒷받침하기에 알맞은 내용의 사례입니다.
Secondly, it is imperative to choose courses freely in high school since this will help students to actualize and identify their dreams and careers. This is due to the fact that students are able to realize and develop their abilities and skills which they best can do the best and would most like to learn continuously in the future the most through the subjects. 원하는 과목을 선택하는 것과 적성을 찾는 것의 연관성을 더 강조해주세요. 단순히 여러 과목을 들으면서 적성을 찾는다는 설명이 아니라 '듣고 싶은 것'을 들었을 때 적성을 찾을 수 있다는 설명이 되어야 논제에 대한 답변이 될 수 있습니다. 듣고 싶었던 것을 우선적으로 들어보면서 맞는지/아닌지를 가려보고 further study하거나 다른 과목을 다시 시도해보고 하는 식으로 적성을 가려낼 수 있다, 하는 식으로도 생각해볼 수 있고요. For example, when I was a high school student in a high school with this open system in choosing subjects, I wanted to be taught for learn various physical activities and was able to take a variety of sports classes such as swimming, skiing and playing a tennis. Consequently, it helped me find my potential talent in swimming and pursue my own dream in the future. In the end, I became a swimming instructor in a high school. Likewise, students can have a great chance to seek their potential ability and dream when they take the courses which they really want to learn.
To summarize, students should be able to choose their subjects when attending the high school because it is a great idea to magnify their study results thanks to their increased motivation as well as to actualize their ability for their future success.
주요 채점기준 (항목별 5-4-3-2-1점수로 30점 만점 자가채점)
논제 파악 effectiveness in addressing the task
적절한 설명 appropriate explanation
적절한 예증, 구체적 설명 appropriate exemplification, details
일관성, 단계적 구성, 주제와의 연관성 unity, progression, coherence
다양한 단어 구사 syntactic variety
적절한 단어 선택, 관용적 표현 word choice, idiomaticity
Writing 0–30 score scale
Good (24–30)
논제에 대한 이해도가 높고 전반적인 내용 흐름이 적절하게 연결되어 있습니다. 주장에 대한 설명을 더 강조할 수 있는 부분이나 어색한 표현부분만 체크해보시면 될 것 같아요. 계속해서 다양한 주제로 연습하면서 실전에 대비해주세요^^ 수고 많으셨습니다. 화이팅!