Your Answer :
A thought provoking issue concern whether friends can be completely honest each other. Some people believed that even if they are friends, being totally honest is impossible. It is therefore timely to consider the validity of this perspectives. For the follwing reasons,. I agree that it is possible to be honest with my friends. First, being honest with friends improve their friendship; Furthermore, these also enhanced the friendship also and enable us to help each other when we need indeed. ( Intro가 좀 분산되어 보입니다. 왜 possible한지에 대한 배경설명을 해주는것이 좋을 것 같습니다. )
To begin with, a person is able to accumulate the friendship by expressing their opinion honestely. This is because the friendship can not be easily established. The friendship between friends is made of their memorable experience. For example, when i was a teenager, i am used to closing my mind be very close to friends because talking my thinking honestly may trigger controversion between friends. However, not until high school that my point of view has transformed unrecognizably while talking about something honestly. The my first-hand experience improved the friendship with him.????
This example shows that being honestly with friends can be possible by talking with friends. ( body의 example이 너무 포커스가 안됩니다. ly부사를 뒤에 쓰는 구문이 너무 많습니다. 다소 어색해 보일 수 있습니다. 문법으로 인해 전달이 잘 안됩니다. )
In addition, when people are in trouble, they are able to receive the a help by asking honestly. ???(이해하기가 힙니다 )There are countless varriers in this world. Even though these impediment make our life much harder and worse, a person can pass through these hardship with friend's help. For instance, whenever I have many worries about my carrer, i often talk to Shin who is my best friend and he gave me a help advise. These advised helped me to get over those concerns, eventually managed to make it.
This example shows that a reciprocal relation with my friends can be made by expressing my worries honestly.
As i mentioned above, i believe that there is no reason why being honestly with friends is impossible. This is because honest relationship with friends gave gives people opportunities to enhance the friendship and help each other when they need indeed.
주요 채점기준 (항목별 5-4-3-2-1점수로 30점 만점 자가채점) 논제 파악 effectiveness in addressing the task 적절한 설명 appropriate explanation 적절한 예증, 구체적 설명 appropriate exemplification, details 일관성, 단계적 구성, 주제와의 연관성 unity, progression, coherence 다양한 단어 구사 syntactic variety 적절한 단어 선택, 관용적 표현 word choice, idiomaticity Writing 0–30 score scale Limited (10-16) 문법오류로 인해 글전달이 힘듭니다. 우선 문법이 간결해도 좋습니다, 간결해도 문법이 정확히 전달 될 수 있도록 문법 정리 해주세요 그게 첫 단추인 것 같습니다. |