On top of that choosing some of classes will increase the efficiency of studying. If students are allowed to choose classes, they will select what they feel interesting. If students do things that they feel interesting the efficiency will increase. On the other hand the efficiency will decrease if they do what they do not feel interesting. According to research from Korea Education Department, students who were studying subjects in which they were interested, had their academic performance enhanced by 15%. Whereas, those who did not, showed only 5% increased.
>If students do things that they feel interesting the efficiency will increase.->앞의 문장뒤에 붙여...
If students are allowed to choose classes, they will select what they feel interest and be more likely to concentrate on them.
이렇게 쓰는게 간결해 보여요.
그리고 뒷문장은 안쓰는게 좋을 것 같네요..;
대신에 ..
>시간을 더 많이 투자하고 집중해서 공부하면 그 분야에 대해서 더 큰 학문적 성취를 이룰 수 있는 것은 당연하다.
No doubt, putting more time into and concentrate on specific subjects has students achieve bigger accomplishments.
통계 쓰실 때 좀 더 내용을 튼튼히~ㅎㅎ 시간이 없으셨나?..
제가 다시 브레인 스토밍 해 보자면..
저는 제 경험을 예로 들겠습니다.. ->Let me take my experience for example.
내가 고등학생이었을 때, 나의 학교는 제 2 외국어로 일본어를 가르쳐 주는 학교였다.
When I was in high school, my school was only teaching Japanese as the second foreign language subject.
하지만 나는 일본어를 중학교 때 공부해 보았고 나에게는 어려운 언어라서 배우기를 포기했었다.
I had learned Japanese when I was a middle school student, but I gave up learning it because it was so difficult to me,
그래서 일본어 수업을 들어야 한다는 것이 나에게는 고역이었다.
Not to mention that taking class was a real drag to me.
결국 나는 어머니께 나의 일본어 시험 점수에 대해서는 제발 체념해 달라고 간청했고, 내가 얼마나 일본어를 싫어하는지 아시는 어머니는 아쉬워하셨지만 허락해 주셨다.
In the end, I solicited my mother to give up my good Japanese grade. Since she already knew how I dislike Japanese classe, she accepted my request.
내 일본어 점수가 거의 40점대 였기 때문에 나는 그리 좋은 평균점수를 받지 못했다.
Since my Japanese grade was about forties, I couldn't get that good average grade for every test.
만약 다른 과목을 선택할 기회가 있었다면 나는 일본어를 선택하지 않았을 것이고 더 효율적으로 공부했을 것이다.
If I had had a chance to choose my classes, I would have not taken Japanese class, and I could have studied more efficiently.
In conclusion, choosing subjects that they want helps sutdents to achieve their goal early. Moreover, it is more efficient way to study. In this regard, I think students should be allowed to choose some of their classes.
결론 잘 쓰셨음^^
자잘한 문법들 신경써 주시고. 근거 좀 튼튼하게 써 주세요 ^^ 수고 하셨어요.