The lecturer argues that video game does not relation relate to children’s violence behavior. This goes against the reading passage’s claim that video game is harmful to children.
First of all, the lecturer asserts that playing video games don’t make children addictive. The lecturer points out that children spend 30 hours a week on playing video games and 25 hours a week watching television. Then people who think video games make children addictive must say that doing anything we enjoy is addictive. This contradicts the reading passage’s claim that playing video games makes children addictive.
On top of that, the lecturer claims that playing video games don’t encourage children to act aggressively. In fact, nowadays children are the lowest ( lowest what? ) ( 문장을이해 하기 힘듭니다. 좀 더 간결하게 문장을 나눠서 써보세요 ) show violence behavior among children since video game was invented 30 years ago.
Many specialists say that if doing video games actually encourage aggressive tendency, children would show the most violence behavior among children before. ??This goes against the reading passage’s claim that doing video games encourage children to act aggressive tendencies.
Finally, the lecturer insists that playing video games offers positive effects. The lecture points out that children who play video games tend to have highest intelligence and solve problem ability. ( 반박할 수 있는 근거들은? ) Also, they improve reaction time during playing video games. These points contradict the reading passage’s claim that video games don’t have useful purpose.
주요 채점기준 (항목별 5-4-3-2-1점수로 30점 만점 자가채점) 논제 파악 effectiveness in addressing the task 적절한 설명 appropriate explanation 적절한 예증, 구체적 설명 appropriate exemplification, details 일관성, 단계적 구성, 주제와의 연관성 unity, progression, coherence 다양한 단어 구사 syntactic variety 적절한 단어 선택, 관용적 표현 word choice, idiomaticity Writing 0–30 score scale Limited - Fair (16–22)
문법 오류가 많으면 내용 전달력이 떨어집니다. 수일치, 태, 품사활용 등에 유의하면서 문법 오류를 체크해주세요. 문장을 구사할 때도 좀 더 고급 표현을 많이 활용할 수 있도록 어휘량을 늘려주시면 좋을 것 같아요. 가장 중요한것 ! 문장을 뒷받침할때 적절하게 논리적이게 반박할수 있는 문장을 쓰셔야 합니다 ( 한국어로 반박을 할때도 마찬가지지요 )
좀 더 논리적으로 반박할 수 있도록 brainstorming을 하시고 노트 테이킹을 하셔서 연습 해주세요.
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