■ Direction Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words.
■ Question Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Use specific reason and examples to support your answer | |
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▶ Topic :Agree or disagree, Nowadays it is a easier to maintain the health than the past.
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▶ Your Answer :
Some people contend that nowadays it is a easier to maintain the health than the past. I support such idea. There are many reasons that could espouse my position, but the two biggest reasons for my position will be explained in the following.
First, maintaining the health is a lot easier than the past. This is because today’s people have well-balanced knowledge about the health than the past. While people grow up, they are exposed to lots of information and knowledge about the health through education at school as well as at home. Also, people can find tons of information about the ways of maintaining the health. These can help people to more become healthier, and thus they can sustain our health without less diseases. Therefore, I agree that it is a much easier to keep people’s health by fluent information about health than the past. For example, some people may give in to a temptation of eating junk food which is critically bad for their health. However, they guided by the help of information about junk food, by well-balanced knowledge about the health. People who lived in the past did not bother about eating junk food because lack of information that junk food is bad for their health.
Moreover, improvement of medical instruments makes people’s health easy to maintain than in the past. Modern-day people can control diseases which was extremely fatal in the past by highly improved medical instruments. Even though some diseases cannot be still dangerous to nowadays’ people, most of diseases can be got over by highly evolved technology of medical instruments. Given this context, maintaining the better health becomes more easier than the past. According to a recent survey carried out by a group of medical experts in Seoul National University, nearly two thirds of respondents felt that they have experiences of keeping their health more efficiently than the past by modern technology of medical instruments. The majority of surveyed medical experts argued that development of medical instruments can make the average span of a life more longer than the past. It is no surprise that there has recently been drastic increase in the number of world population by medical improvements.
All in all, because of the reasons mentioned above, I firmly believe that it is much easier to sustain the life more healthier than the past.
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안녕하세요, 스테파니 손 선생님 강의 수강했는데, 스테파니 선생님 템플릿으로 어떻게 적용해야 할지 감이 잡히질 않아서 템플릿에서 가져올 수 있는 문장들과 몇몇 제가 쓴 문장들로 작성했습니다. 이렇게 쓴다면 점수가 많이 안나올까요? 첨삭 부탁드립니다.