▶ Your Answer : It is debatable whether the government should invest money to improve roads and highways or other public transportation such as buses and trains. This is an intriguing question because opinions concerning this issue can be different depending on individual perspectives. In my opinion, however, I support that government should spend money to refine roads and highways for the following reasons. First of all, the government should spend money to improve basic public traffic infrastructure such as roads and highways because it brings about economic benefits such policy can bring about economic benefit. To be specific, making roads and highways creates opportunities for transportation of commodities, which as a result allows people to foster economic growth. It is undeniable in modern society that roads and highways are important sources for people to fuel the economy (어느 부분에 있어서 경제적으로 효과적인지를 구체적으로 서술하시길 바랍니다). For instance, according to the study done by the Korean Times, it revealed that basic public traffic infrastructures such as roads and high ways have a critical role for the local economy. The study indicated that areas with roads and highways had 30 percent higher economic wealth than other areas. This was because roads Roads (this was because는 적절한 표현이 아닙니다) and highways were able to transport commercial goods to certain areas which make those areas more economically active. In addition, making roads and highways is a great way to make people’s daily lives much more efficient and convenient. In fact, many traffic roads efficiently connect each local areas and shorten the distance between areas, which as a result allows people to expend less energy, save extra time, and lead productive levels. In today’s fast-paced world, there is a necessity to effectively utilize time and lead easier lives. People can do this better by utilizing many technological tools and government infrastructures. For example, when I was attending a high school, I always had to go to school by walking a long road for a long time but someday the road connecting school and my home had made, therefore, I was able to quickly go to my school. Through this experience, I realized that the roads connecting each area enabled people to move to other areas more quickly and efficiently. In conclusion, I firmly believe that the government should spend more money to improve roads and highways. All thing considered, it is my belief that my argument regarding this topic has been effectively and precisely delivered with the reasons mentioned above.
점수: 23 일단 지금 이 에세이는 각 단락에서 몇몇 부분이 구체적으로 설명이 필요 해보이는 곳이 있습니다. 구체적 설명이 없다 보니 각 단락을 통하여서 무엇을 말하려고 하는 것인지 모르겠습니다. 따라서 구체적으로 설명이 필요해 보입니다. 또한 너무 which절이 많으니 이러한 부분들을 주의하면서 에세이를 서술하시길 바랍니다. 수고많으셨습니다. |