▶ Your Answer : Computer games have brought about the immense cultural changes to human society. As the computers get more accessible to people, especially the young students, the number of the game players among the children have increased tremendously. Some people argues that children should not play the computer games because they have to fully focus on their academic performances. However, in my opinion, I think playing computer games is not a waste of time and it should rather be recommended to be utilized for the follow two reasons. To begin with, children can develop their social skills by playing computers. In these days, a number of computer games are based on the online connectivity, indicating that it requires a player to get mingled with other users. Also, the recent games are not straightforward as the old version. It stipulates the user to get deeply involved with the strategies developed by multi-users. To win the games, they have to keep continuous interactions with others by talking over the headset and chatting. This means, the online domain is another space of social interconnection and this is also the opportunity for children to learn about the society. To be specific, my young cousin likes to play the online shooting games. When he played the game, he always formed a group including over three people and had discussion with them before the game. I was astonished that he were affluent in explaining his own thinking and giving feedbacks on the other users' opinions. I realized that he was already learning about handling the relationship with others through the online games. On top of that, children's creativity is reinforced while they play the computer games and it is conducive to their academic performance in the long term. Many children who played the computer games every day manifests their cleverness in the classroom by showing their superior logical ability or more sophisticated drawing skills. The computer games offers diverse experience to the children with highly technological graphics and details. It stimulates children's sense of creativeness and contemplation. For instance, when I was an elementary school students I was a member of the computer game club and preparing for the contests, making me play the game over six hours a day. The concept of the game was about the circumnavigations of the world. During the preparation period, I could acquire a huge amount of knowledge about the world because the game provided me with adventurous events and I could indirectly undergo numerous cultures happening on the entire planet. Especially when I was learning the world history, I could refer to my experience on the game and give presentation about the subject meticulously. To sum up, children can figure out what the society looks like through the computer games. There a myriad of people playing the computer game and children will have to interplay with them incessantly. Also, children can become more ingenious after playing games since they can go through assorted situations with the game contents and it will act positively on their school work as well. In this regard, I think there are a number of advantages for children to be engaged in the computer games.
에세이 좋습니다. 주장도 아주 clear하고, 이에 대한 supporting detail도 주장에 맞게 자세하게 잘 작성해주셔서 문장의 흐름이 너무 자연스럽고 좋았습니다. 특히 예시 상황에 맞게 너무 잘 써주셨습니다. (설명이부가되는 느낌) 이렇게만 실전에 쓰시면 고득점 가능하실 것 같습니다. 정말 잘 쓰셨습니다. |