Topic :Which of the following do you think is the best way to become healthier?
-Getting enough sleep
-Exercising regularly
-Having a positive attitude
Use specific reasons and examples to support your explanation.
Answer
According to the WHO, the meaning of 'health' is not only being free from illness, but also being in good condition physically, mentally, and socially. Considering the true meaning of health, I believe that exercising is the perfect way to maintain health. There are several reasons for this: regular exercising helps us strengthen our body, mind, and social skills.
To begin with, doing regular exercise makes it possible for us to stay in health physically. To be specific, if you start to exercise, your body will start to change. For example, fat is burnt out, your body produces some new muscles, and blood is running to all over your body actively. You are able to feel freshness because of the spreading of oxygen by blood cell, and your body becomes leaner and stronger. Thus, you will hardly feel fatigued or exhausting thanks to the daily exercise.
Also, exercising is good for our mental health. If you move your body, your brain starts to spread some hormones such as endorphins and dopamine. These materials are exceedingly helpful as it not only relieves our stress but also makes us feel happy. Furthermore, after working out, your body gets reshaped and fit, so your proud and self-esteem will be developed. In this way, people who are exercising routinely seldom feel blue or depression. [Having a positive attitude의 주장을 여기에서 한번 덧대주는 게 좋습니다]
Finally, to exercise each day help us to be healthy in social. It is an excellent way to connect with other people since when you exercise in anywhere, you can meet a variety of people who are working out with you. Then, you can communicate with them, and sometimes, you can hang out them in other spaces. Through this process, you will feel belonging and enhance your social skills.
To sum up, exercising is the best way to stay in health for several reasons I mentioned above: it improves our physical, psychological, and social health a lot. [결론은 꽉 찬 세 줄 정도가 좋습니다]
Expression |
Weak |
Limited |
Fair |
Good |
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Grammar(문법) |
글을 문법에 맞게 썼는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
Word Choice(어휘선택) |
상황에 맞는 정확한 단어가 구사되었는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
Syntactic Variety(표현의 다양성) |
같은 표현을 반복하지 않고, 다양한 어휘를 구사했는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
Idiomaticity (관용표현 활용) |
사전적 의미를 담고 있는 단어들 이외의 표현들을 썼는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
Sentence Structure (문장구조) |
효율적 표현을 위해 안정된 구조의 문장을 구사했는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
Flow(문맥의 흐름) |
문장들간의 비약이 심하거나 처짐 또는 반복이 없는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
Content |
Weak |
Limited |
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Explanation(설명) |
Thesis나 topic sentences같은 main idea들을
얼마나 이해하기 쉽게 썼는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
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Exemplification (예시) |
Topic sentences와 관련된 example을 얼마나 설득력있게 풀어냈는지를
판단합니다. |
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O |
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Coherence(일관성) |
글이 주제에 맞게 전개됐는지, main idea들간의 연결이
잘 되었는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
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Overall Organization (전반적 구성) |
서론, 본론, 결론
등 글 전체의 구조와 main idea들이 잘 어우러져 있는지를 판단합니다. |
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O |
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Overall |
24 |
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삼중택일 문제의 경우 고득점을 위해서는 고르지 않은 선택지에 대한 단점 언급도 필요합니다. 또한 예시는 더 구체적으로 작성해주세요. 수고하셨습니다 ^ㅇ^ |