When it comes to reading books, some people argue that it is ideal that people read the books associated with real events or people. However, I definitely believe that reading the books about fictional stories and novels is much better for people. This is not only because people have a great opportunity to improve their mental health, but also because they are able to promote their creativity through reading the fictional books. ( very good start ! )
First of all, it is a good idea to read the fictional stories and novels because these books have a significant and positive impact on their mental health. This is evident when one ponders that readers are better able to refresh themselves, recharge energy and relieve stress when they read the interesting and fantastic fictional reading materials. Also, they can forget about their concerns of real life in the dreamlike world. (good )To illustrate this point, for example, one study of one hundred people recently released reported that 80 percent of people with the habit of reading fiction novels frequently said that they can replenish themselves and alleviate the stress from their busy and exhausting lifestyle when reading such books. They also responded that they feel comfortable because they can be away from their serious problems in the real environment. This clearly shows that reading fictional books gives people a huge chance to increase their mental health.
Secondly, when people read the books as to fictional stories, they are more likely to boost their creative and imaginative ability. This is due to the fact that these books help people to experience the new and novel world generated by an author's imagination. As a result, this will lead to the development of their infinite imagination and originality. For instance, ( 적절한 접속사 good ) an institution examined twenty schools with the policy that once a week, all students have to read one volume of novels which are recommended by the teachers. This study indicated that since this system operated, the students in these schools showed more increased original abilities and skills when they solve certain intended problems. This was mainly because the pupils were able to meet a variety of wonderful and curious world and expand their imagination while reading the books. In this respect, people can magnify their originality through reading the fictional stories.
To summarize, reading the books regarding fictional stories and novels has a pleasant influence on people. This is because it makes people improve their mental well-being as well as the creativity in life.( intro body에 비해 너무 conlclusion이 짧습니다. 이런 경우 body의 주장들을 sum-up해 주시고 general하게 문장을 끝내야 합니다. )
주요 채점기준 (항목별 5-4-3-2-1점수로 30점 만점 자가채점) 논제 파악 effectiveness in addressing the task 적절한 설명 appropriate explanation 적절한 예증, 구체적 설명 appropriate exemplification, details 일관성, 단계적 구성, 주제와의 연관성 unity, progression, coherence 다양한 단어 구사 syntactic variety 적절한 단어 선택, 관용적 표현 word choice, idiomaticity Writing 0–30 score scale Good (24–30)
-전반적인 내용 흐름이나 구성이 모두 적절합니다. 논리적인 설명 부분에서 필요한 detail들을 더 보완해주시고 어색한 표현을 다듬는 정도로만 체크해보시면 될 것 같아요. |
- 대체적으로 very good ! -conclusion을 다듬는 연습 해주세요.
|