▶ Your Answer :
Some people think that only humanities has made the world a better
place to live. However, in my opinion, Technology has
made as important a contribution to the world as the humanities.
First, Technology has given much convenience to people. Technology
makes it possible that humans can not do it with their own power. Human’s body has restriction that we cannot Human cannot (이렇게 두 문장으로 나누기 보다는 한 문장으로 합쳐주세요-문장이 짧고, 의미가 별로 없는 경우)walk and do
something infinitely without a break. But the machine can do it. For example, Technology has improved a vehicle.
Without vehicle, human would not have been able to go to distant place quickly. By
using buoyancy or lift force, Human beings can go into the water or even to the
sky.
Second, Technology has maximized enjoyment
from art. Today, people watch movies or listen to music during break time. Art gives
pleasure to us who are tired of our daily lives. As technology developed, art
developed as well. The early films were black and white, and there was no
sound. It was unimaginable to watch a movie with many people. But now human can
see colorful movie and hear actor’s voice and background music. Similarly, in
the early time, people only could listen to music by LP or CD player. These were not
portable so it was impossible to listen to music during walking outside. As
technology improved by, portable music player has invented and we can listen to
music anytime and anywhere.
All in all, Technology can
not be underestimated that it has made the world a better place to live and it
will continue to be. 음 왜 자꾸 human이라는 단어를 쓰는 지는 잘 모르겠지만, human보다는 people이 어울리는 문장이 대부분이었습니다. 비슷한 단어지만 다른 뜻을 전달할 수도 있으므로 주의해서 어휘 선정 하도록 해주세요. 또 문법 오류가 조금 많은 편입니다. proof reading 조금 더 주의깊게 하시면 더 quality좋은 에세이 나올 수 있을 거라 생각합니다.
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