Universities and high schools should teach students about specific careers and fields instead of general subjects.
*진하게 표시한 부분은 제가 파악한 문단의 주요 내용이니 참고하세요^^
As the world changes faster than ever before, the society wants people to have more talents and skills. Accordingly, a controversy has arisen over whether universities and high schools should teach students about specific careers and fields instead of general subjects or not. I definitely believe that universities and high schools should teach students about general subjects for two reasons.
To begin with, the society requires a broad range of knowledge instead of specific knowledge. This is because, there are lots of area linked with many other relative fields. Thus, people cannot know fully about their specific career without knowing other relative fields. So Therefore, in order for people to exert their abilities, they have to know general subjects. 문단의 중심내용을 첫문장에 소개해서 두괄식 문형에 맞춰주세요. 사회가 broad knowledge를 요구한다는 사실 자체는 general subject를 통해 학생들이 얻는 이점이 아닙니다. 대학이나 고등학교에서 일반과목에 초점을 두고 학생들을 가르치면 학생들이 이러이러한 이점을 얻을 수 있다, 하는 '결과적인' 장점이 가장 먼저 소개되는 편이 좋습니다. 현재 문단에서 내가 이야기하고 싶은 '학생들이 얻는 이점'을 생각해보고 정리해서 첫 문장에 제시해주세요.
For example, a doctor who wants to have his own hospital has to know about marketing, which he did not learned before in school. Without knowing that, he cannot run his hospital efficiently because running a hospital is a kind of business. Thus, he should know about other fields to be succeed. 다른 분야에 대해 알아야 한다는 사실을 증명하는 것만으로는 '그러니까 일반과목을 먼저 잘 가르쳐주는 것이 더 좋다'라는 결론으로 연결하기 어렵습니다. 내용을 보완해서 논제에 대한 답변으로 내용이 연결되도록 해주세요. [이와 같은 상황에서 이 사람이 기본적인 경제지식이나 경영관련 내용을 습득하고 있다면 자신의 분야가 아니더라도 필요한 부분을 배우는 데 더 수월할 것이다, 그렇기 때문에 고등교육 단계에서도 일반과목에 초점을 두고 학생들을 가르치면 학생들이 훗날 성공하는 데 도움이 될 수 있다]하는 식으로 연결고리들을 더 생각해볼 수 있지요.
On top of that, learning general subjects allows allow people to have common sense. This is due to the fact that it makes people think diversely. In other words, people can have more balanced thinking, not biased thinking. If some people learned about only their specific fields or subjects, they would just only think about their subjects and cannot understand other fields. So, they tend to think they are right because they do not know other fields. However, If some people who havelearned general subjects, they can understand other fields because they are not biased. In this sense, one who learned general subjects can think diversely and understand thinking of other person who is majoring in different major. 문단의 중심내용이 명확하지 않습니다. 다른 분야에 대해 이해하는 것과 common sense(상식)은 다른 개념입니다. 여러 과목을 배우면 시야가 넓어져서 편협해지지 않고 다른 분야를 이해할 수 있다는 현재 흐름은 우선 여러 과목을 배우면 왜 시야가 넓어지는지, 이를 통해 다른 분야를 이해하면 왜 좋은지 등을 설명하지 못하기 때문에 논리력이 떨어집니다. 여러 이야기를 반복적으로 설명하는 것이 아니라 한 가지 idea에서 단계적인 배경과 중요성에 대한 설명이 이루어질 수 있게끔 idea를 먼저 정리해주세요. 예를 들어 학생들이 '시야가 넓어질 수 있다'라는 idea를 생각한다면 다양한 과목을 들음으로써 어떻게 시야가 넓어지는지를 설명하고 -> 오늘날 시야를 넓히는 것이 왜 중요한지를 연결해서 설득력을 높여준 뒤에 -> 관련 사례를 제시해서 논지를 강화하는 형태로 간단하게 문단을 구성할 수 있지요. 복잡하게 생각하기보다 내가 생각한 이점에 초점을 두고 내용을 풀어나간다고 생각하시면 좋을 것 같아요.
To sum up, I strongly maintain the idea that universities and high schools teach students about general subjects area by giving two examples for two reasons: a broad range of knowledge and common sense. In this regard, though our technology, culture and any other things have advanced in high level, schools have to place more emphasis on general basic knowledge than specific careers. subjects.
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Universities and high schools should teach students about specific careers and fields instead of general subjects.
(수정본)
As the world changes faster than ever before, the society wants people to have more talents and skills. Accordingly, a controversy has arisen over whether universities and high schools should teach students about specific careers and fields instead of general subjects or not. I definitely believe that universities and high schools should teach students about general subjects for two reasons.
To begin with, learning general subjects in Universities have great advantages in finding jobs.
This is because, students are required to have a broad range of knowledge instead of specific knowledge by society. Actually, many companies have already known that people who do not know about other relative fields are not likely to know fully about their specific career because there are lots of area linked with many other relative fields. Therefore, companies have no choice but to hire a person who knows more about general subjects. In this sense, in order for people to have jobs, they have to know general subjects.
On top of that, learning general subjects allows people to think in a good way. This is due to the fact that people who learn general areas do not tend to have biased thinking. People who are only majoring in or learning specific area are likely to have biased opinion compared to people who learn general subjects. For example, I have a friend Tom who are majoring in bodybuilding. He usually eats a lot of chicken breasts for maintaining his mass of muscle and of course he thinks it is good for his health. But, in toxicology, all doses of foods can be toxicants and, In physiological aspect, a lot of protein intakes can lead a person to have a severe disease in kidney. Accordingly, we should not learn only about one specific area in order to think in a good way. Thus, we should know about other general subjects like foundation studies.
To sum up, I strongly maintain the idea that universities and high schools teach students about general subjects for two reasons: Advantages in finding jobs and thinking in a good way. In this regard, schools have to place more emphasis on general basic knowledge than specific careers.