What are some important qualities of a good supervisor(boss)? Use specific details and examples to explain why these qualities are important.
*진하게 표시한 부분은 제가 파악한 문단의 주요 내용이니 참고하세요^^
There are a plenty of qualities of a good supervisor. However, I personally believe that there are the most three important qualities for him. Even though job situations can be very different, those three aspects are in common to a good boss. Three important qualities are as follow.
First of all, a supervisor definitely needs the leadership. A supervisor or boss is a leader of a company or a department of the company. A supervisor leads workers to unify into one and sometimes let them get along fine with each other, *because there are always some troubles in a group. *내용 설명에 불필요한 사족에 해당합니다. Therefore, a supervisor has to have the quality to handle the dispute between co-workers and make them get along with well fine again. That is a capability that a supervisor has to have to lead a company with controlling workers. boss는 리더십이 있어야 한다는 idea자체는 적절하지만 설명이 피상적이라는 느낌을 줍니다. 단계적인 설명이 될 수 있도록 연결고리를 보완해주세요. boss는 집단의 leader에 해당한다는 설명에 이어서, leadership이 있으면 왜, 어떻게 member들이 단결하고 서로 잘 지낼 수 있도록 할 수 있는 것인지 / member들이 서로 잘 지내고 단결하도록 하는 것이 왜 중요한지에 대한 설명들을 구체적으로 제시해줄 수 있어야 합니다. 또한 나의 주장이 정말 맞다는 점을 확실히 할 수 있도록 관련된 예증 자료를 함께 제시해주세요.
Secondly, a good boss has to be fair. When a worker has a mistake, he has to correct the worker as same much as he did to the other worker who had done the similar mistake before. And then, workers can accept their fault reasonably. If a boss treats some worker he prefers unfairly, the others would feel get complaint and finally they do not respect a supervisor, which can result in some and get in trouble. "공정성"을 지녀야 한다는 덕목을 제시한 부분은 좋은 idea입니다. 이를 설명할 때 부하직원의 실수를 고쳐주는 국지적인 내용을 가지고 설명하기 보다는 더 general한 설명으로 제시될 수 있도록 '공평하게 사람들을 대하는 것'이 왜 중요한지에 대한 부분을 풀어서 설명하는 편이 설득력을 높이는 데 도움이 됩니다. Also, a supervisor has to be a model for workers. When a supervisor respects rules and does his best during work, other workers also follow and portray him a good behavior. boss가 공정해야 한다는 내용과 다른 이들의 본보기가 되어야 한다는 내용은 전혀 관련이 없으므로 한 문단 안에 포함시킬 경우 오히려 논점을 흐리게 됩니다. 밑줄 친 내용은 문단의 중심내용을 생각했을 때 사족에 해당하니 생략해주세요.
In addition, the most important quality, I think, is the pioneer spirit. split, because Without that mind, there is no more development and even a company might become bankrupt. Who is going to take care of whole workers in the company after all? Developing company is the major part existence of the jobs. A boss is responsible for taking to take care of workers, hence he has to develop a company with the pioneer split. Moreover, many people work for a company want to learn some specific skills from the company for their career, but if there is not any kind of enthusiastic thing, they would quit quiet the job and find better one. 설명이 단계적으로 제시될 수 있도록 다듬어주세요. 문단에서 설명해야 하는 부분은 boss가 개척정신을 가져야 하는 이유입니다. 설명 부분에서 회사를 발전시킬 수 있다는 내용과 직원들을 통솔하는 데 필요하다는 내용이 섞여 있어서 문단의 일관성을 해치고 있다는 느낌을 줍니다. 개척정신이 정확하게 어떤 부분에서 boss 역할에 도움이 되는지를 clear하게 정리해서 설명해주세요.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that a supervisor has to have the three important qualities; a leadership, good behavior, and pioneer spirit split. A supervisor is also responsible for a company or a department of the company with those capabilities to handle workers.