▶ Your Answer :
Some people like to plan and organize. On the other hand, others ( other people로 쓸 수 있지만 이미 people이 언급되어 others라고 받겠습니다) prefer to make an extemporal result. Since having ability to plan and organize makes our life be flourished, I believe that this skill is important characteristic/trait. Especially, this is critical for young people because it helps improving not only their grades, but also thier health. 첫 문장과 뒷 문장의 위치를 바꾸고 on the other hand는 그냥 두는게 좋을 듯 싶네요 사람들은 준비 없는 결과를 내는 것을 선호한다 반면에 계획하고 좋아하는 사람들이 있다 . There are some people prefer to make an extemporal result. On the other hand, there are also people like to plan and organize at the same time. This is because those abilities lead our life to successful way. 식으로 쓰는건 어떨까요?
Firstly, there is a relation between school grades and the ability to plan and organize. Two reasons can support this relation. First To begin with (여러가지 표현으로 보카의 다양성을 보여줄 수 있습니다), this ability enables students to manage their study time. Secondly, well organized lecture note is the key of making perfect grades. Looking back school days, students who get a high score were good at managing thier time. In contrast to the other students, they never complained how time flies in examination period. They were also good at notetaking, so his/her friends always surround with their desks to get the notes.
ability도 다른 단어들로 바꿔주는 것도 좋을 듯 싶네요 capacity나 capability나 유의어 동의어는 많죠~
Secondly, the ability to plan and organize also helps human health. A person who has ability to plan and organize might spend their time toward their planned/organized schedule. A well-planned/organized schedule makes people live in well-regulated life. Well-regulated life It 연속적인 언급은 좋지 않으므로 It 이라고 받겠습니다 allows our body system to be well-operated. Considering physical strength including immune system generally develops in youth period childhood. Young people have to care about their physical fitness. The best way to keep their sound body is living in regular schedule. According to the National Statistical Office in Seoul, Korea, two times more people who follow regular life cycle live longer and healthier than the other others. Likewise, living in regular cycle enables humans people to be stronger.
To sum up, the ability to plan and organize is vital for young people, because it helps them live in better condition. They can get a good grade through well-organized study note and well-managed study time. They would succeed with their brilliant G.P.A in the future. Also, they can live in good shape through their well-regulated life cycle. Why not we try to improve this ability?
-문두에 also, so, but, and, or 등은 쓰지 않습니다
-other, the other, others 설명 따로 찾아서 읽어보세요~
the other 다음은 단수 동사랍니다
fair (17~23) |