It is often said that old days were more soothing and
cozier and easier (A, B, and C = keep the number of
adjectives to two at most) than nowadays. But I think modern days are
more comfortable and easy to sustain one's life because there are (is a) higher chance of survival than (in) my grandparent's time, and because modern days
are known to it's (for its) varying (various) advanced technologies.
(Keep the sentences short!)
To start with, I believe that modern days are (it is) much easier to live (nowadays)
than (in) my grandparent's time, because the
chance of survival has (been) greatly enhanced
due to the advanced medical science and care (services). Modern
day hospitals are more caring and have ability to cure most of their patients,
because there are less urban quacks (why “urban”
quacks?) and more professional doctors
and nurses (same point as the one before).
And advanced medical science has found many way(s)
to cure disease that was once considered incurable. For example, diabetes used
to (be) known as incurable disease, but nowadays
it is curable.
Secondly, I think now
days are (nowadays,
it is) more comfortable because the world has become more faster
because of a myriad of (negative tone) advanced
technologies which are enabling (enables) us to
live a more direct and (direct life?) guided
life. By using modern technologies, we can access all the things we need nearly in (nearly) a blink of an eye. Through internet, we can
search and glean (search and glean seems
similar to me) information whatever we want. But I think that the most
significant development of (in) our time from
her (her?????) time is (the)
source of water and food. Because there is no need to feel (be) worried or anxious about whether you can drink or
eat, which is fundamental part of sustaining life. For example, my grandmother
had to carry a bucket of water from well just in order to wash her hands or
drink water. But nowadays, various conduit has
positioned in our homes and we can use water whenever we want (complex water supply grants safer and easier access to it).
And the food, we can order them by online (by) just
clicking some buttons. (This last sentence is
inappropriately colloquial. Write in more formal tone.)
(Do not use the words that you are not
comfortable with. Relying on thesaurus or Korean-English dictionary as your
word sources will do no help, if that is what has been done for this essay.
Your essay has a good plot, but having better diction will improve it
significantly.)
In summary, As you can see, I strongly believe our
lives are more comfortable than those of my grandparents due to advanced
medical care and newly developed technologies.