Some people argue that people can learn more effectively when they do the project alone. However, contrary to this idea, I strongly believe that people can learn more efficiently when they work together on a project. The compelling logic behind this is that, they can learn from various perspectives and be motivated to study.
To begin with, people can learn about different kinds of views
on a subject if they work with other people. This is because, unlike working
alone, they can readily be exposed to different experiences, opinions,
approaches and studies that they have never known before through interacting
with other people. As a consequence, they can take a quantum leap in
intellectual growth from diverse aspects. For example, when I was in college,
my group had to give a presentation about Egyptian architecture. At first, I
was going to talk only about different types of traditional Egyptian buildings.
However, my group members suggested that I conduct some research into Egyptian
cultures so that our group can approach the subject from different aspects. As
a result, not only was I able to achieve a good
grade on it, but I also learned about a wide range of unique Egyptian cultures
such as food, language, and music, and the
cultural significance of Egyptian those buildings. As a rule of thumb, working
together is better than working alone in terms of acquiring knowledge since
they can learn things from different angles.
Moreover, people can learn more enthusiastically. This is because, contrary to carrying out assignments alone, when people work in a group, they can compare each other’s work and ability. This aspect will motivate them to increase their zeal in their studies and work. These highly motivated people will subsequently make greater efforts and develop an increased sense of responsibility. This will undoubtedly show improved results at school or work. A recent study which was conducted by Seoul National University has shown that two groups of people demonstrated a difference in academic achievement. Students in Group A learned biology through group works and those in Group B learned it by completing assignments by themselves. The result manifested that the former group spent thirty percent more hours on studying and outperformed the latter group. The reason was that students in Group A were able to assess other members’ ability and performance, which motivated them to participate in memorizing human organs or submitting assignments enthusiastically. This demonstrates that working with others helps people to learn in a more effective manner as they can stimulate each other through the process of learning.
In conclusion, without any hesitation, I firmly believe that when people work together on a project, they learn much more effectively than when they do the project alone. The reason is that they can learn things from various points and be motivated to function with great enthusiasm.
Writing 0-30 Score Scale
Good (23-30)
전반적으로 문제가 거의 없는 에세이 입니다. 글쓴이의 의견도 명확하게 드러나고 있고, 주장에 대한 이해도 clear한 것 같습니다. 특히나, 글쓴이의 의견을 문법적 오류 없이 명확하게 전달할 수 있다는 점이 좋은 것 같습니다. 논리적인 이유를 통해 글쓴이의 주장에 strong support가 되는 점도 좋아요. 하지만 기존의 템플릿이 장황한 편이기 때문에, 글쓴이가 하고자 하는 말을 좀 더 간결하게 작성해 보는 게 좋을 것 같습니다.
수고하셨습니다.