Without a doubt, there will be an argument regarding the issue of whether to build a new restaurant in town or not. Some people would presumably maintain that a new restaurant will entail positive results to our town. From my perspective, however, due to a new restaurant, our town will be damaged. In this following essay, I'll present two reasons to support my idea.
First, there will be tremendous noises during construction of the new restaurant. By and large, when people are building or constructing something, a great deals of sounds from that spring up. To make things even worse, people usually get distracted and annoyed by that noises, so did I. If they start building a new restaurant, people in our neighborhood and I will be the victim. For instance, when I was in college, the new library construction was on process during the final exam. I could not focus on studying and got interrupted by the sounds from that. In this respect, new building which will make extreme noises must not be built in our neighborhood.
On top of that, our town will be crowded and every place where in our
neighborhood will be messed up because of them. We cannot rule out the
possibility that the new restaurant one will flourish the town
and bring a bunch of people. Generally speaking, often when there are many
crowds, it is more likely that the place will be dirty
and damaged there are more likely to be dirty
and demaged. For example, after every single
soccer games, there are trashes and messes, thrown
out by humans. Besides, they those who make the stadium messy
usually have tendency to hate cleaning up and leave.
This concept will be applied in our town if there is a new restaurant, which
attracts people. People will mess our towns up like they do in the stadiums.
In a nutshell, my
contention is that the brand-new restaurant should not be allowed to be built
in our neighborhood. This is because of the noises that will be created during the construction and people that will make massy in our town messy.
Writing 0-30 Score Scale
Fair - Good (20-27)
에세이를 통해서 글쓴이의 의견을 잘 전달해 주셨습니다. 주어진 토픽을 정확하게 이해해 주신 것 같아서 더욱 좋습니다. 문법적으로도 크게 문제가 되는 부분이 없어서 깔끔합니다. 하지만 부분적으로 표현이 자연스럽지 않은 경우들이 있기 때문에 에세이를 proof reading하면서 조금씩 수정을 해 주시는 게 좋을 것 같습니다. 또한, mass와 mess의 구분을 명확하게 해 주시기 바랍니다. 두 단어는 뜻이 달라서 헷갈리면 안돼요.
수고하셨습니다.