Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? In order to stay well-informed, people should get information from various news sources. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.
*진하게 표시한 부분은 제가 파악한 문단의 주요 내용이니 참고하세요^^
Many people would undoubtedly disagree, if they were asked about whether it is advantageous to use various news sources. They would point out that there are too much information in on-line and off-line places, so they hesitate to select which one is useful to them. However they seem to be missing something more important. I believe that we had batter derive information from diverse news sources and utilize it. This idea will be discussed based on the two perspectives: if people get information from various news sources, they could obtain specialized information related in several areas. Plus, as people use more news sources, possibility of knowing inaccurate information will decreased.
To begin with, by reading several news sources, people can get specialized and detailed information which they want to know. 적절한 idea입니다. Although a newspaper provides us with many kinds of beneficial information, it does not always solve our questions which are caused when we read the article. As reading another newspaper which includes clear and specific explanation, we could understand rather easily. 다른 뉴스에서 명확하고 구체적인 설명이 나온다는 보장이 없으므로 표현을 수정하는 편이 좋을 것 같아요. 같은 issue를 다루더라도 각 뉴스마다 각기 다른 point에서 서술하기 때문에 여러 측면에서 issue를 접하면 더 많은 정보를 통해 더 제대로 알 수 있게 된다, 의문점이 생기는 부분들을 다른 뉴스를 찾아보면서 해소할 수 있는 가능성이 있다, 하는 식으로 생각해볼 수 있습니다. For instance, when I was a freshman in university, I read internet news about concept of micro-RNA. In the article, micro-RNA could be used to cure cancer. The article surprised me very much and I wanted more information explaining how micro-RNAs attack cancer cells and improve the disease. However, there is was no additional information in it, so I tried effort to find discover other newspapers in university library. As a result, by reading several science articles, I could know micro-RNA’s functions. 주장을 뒷받침하기에 알맞은 내용의 사례입니다. 이러한 사례가 주장과 관련해서 어떤 점을 보여주는지 해석하는 문장을 덧붙여서 문단 마무리지어주세요.
In addition, people can get accurate information from many different news sources. Newspapers may often include wrong information. So, if we rely on a single source for our news, we may mistake in misunderstand important situation. 다른 source까지 섭렵하면 잘못 이해하는 것을 막을 수 있고 더 정확하게 이해할 수 있다는 점까지 연결해서 설명해주세요. A few years ago, for example, there was a wine festival in Daejeon, a city of Korea. I really wanted to see the festival and my family would go to the festival at the last day of the festival. Before the festival was started, I read a newspaper saying the festival would will be continued from Monday to Sunday. However, this statement was wrong and when my family went to the wine festival expecting that we could can eat delicious food and drink sweet wines at on Sunday, no one existed in there. After that incident, I always read more than two newspapers that introduce new events or festivals. 마찬가지로 사례 내용과 주제를 연결하는 설명을 보완해주는 것이 좋습니다. '이처럼 여러 news를 접하면 잘못된 정보를 얻게 될 위험을 피할 수 있어 well-informed된다"하는 식으로 요소들을 연결지어 마무리해줄 수 있습니다.
In conclusion, reading different news sources gives us detailed information about each news item and helps us to receive accurate information. On the whole, I agree with the idea that people should get information from various news sources so that they can stay well-informed.
주요 채점기준 (항목별 5-4-3-2-1점수로 30점 만점 자가채점)
논제 파악 effectiveness in addressing the task
적절한 설명 appropriate explanation
적절한 예증, 구체적 설명 appropriate exemplification, details
일관성, 단계적 구성, 주제와의 연관성 unity, progression, coherence
다양한 단어 구사 syntactic variety
적절한 단어 선택, 관용적 표현 word choice, idiomaticity
Writing 0–30 score scale
Fair - Good (22–26)
전반적으로 논제에 대한 이해도가 높고 나의 입장을 뒷받침하기 위한 main idea들이 좋습니다. 이를 논증으로 풀어내는 과정에서 연결고리가 빠지지 않도록 <왜, 어떻게 그런지>에 대한 설명이 충분히 되어 있는지에 유의하면서 내용을 구성해주세요. 사례내용 마무리 부분에서 논지를 강화하는 방식으로 improve해주시면 충분히 더 좋은 점수 받으실 수 있을 거예요^^ 채점항목과 코멘트 참고하셔서 글 검토해주세요^^ 수고 많으셨습니다. 화이팅!